Sun, Sand, Mountains, Water - the Outdoor Necessities of My Soul -

Scott and I spent the last week in Northern California, listening to the sound of waves, wandering the wilds of the Redwoods, and gathering rocks and sand dollars on the beach.

I once heard that people need sun, sand, mountains, and water in their lives - because that is our origin, and we need to return to these elements on a yearly basis to regenerate our bodies and souls.

Last year I yearned for water and mountains, and Scott and I tried to "get there," but because of fires and smoke, our travels, and vista, were thwarted. I hungered for the water, a sparkling river even, and throughout last fall I felt the need, not just desire, to get to water! This year I've been blessed to have the opportunity to travel and receive from these sources, and I feel better.

Gratefully, when planning our trip to England I was able to arrange for a few nights in Herne Bay, and just the sight of the ocean and blue skies made me exhale, inhale, and breath in the fresh air. 

And my need for mountains and trees - Idaho mountains or Southern hills - doesn't matter, was taken care of when we spent time in Idaho - only once this year (3x last year), but long enough for me to smell the pine, hear the Lodge Poles bending in the wind, and sit by crystal clear running water.

Now for the sand - and that happened over the past week, and I almost feel whole again.

I'm not much of a hiker, biker, outdoors-woman, but my soul needs the outdoors more than it needs buildings, and while I'm in a building most of my day, I'm finding that time spent outside really is time well-spent, even if it's walking around the block on a concrete sidewalk or trekking through Belgium on cobblestone walkways, or dodging bicycles on asphalt roads in Amsterdam, or exploring bits of England in my walking shoes, I need the outdoors.

I often wonder about folks who spend their time, lots of their time indoors - doing indoor stuff, never to even miss being outdoors. How? What feeds their souls? What helps them relax, re-energize, renew, reset, re-center?

A Few Favorites -

I love quotes/sayings - inspirational, funny, thought-provoking. Here are a few of my favorites -

Breaking a Habit - Can't Stop -

Well, I'm teaching a class at UVU this semester! Yep - school began today, and I just couldn't not teach. However, rather than a hairy load of 3 classes, which includes a butt-load of grading, I'll teach one early evening class, be finished and home in time for dinner.

I tossed most of my teaching materials, kept a few things electronically, and I'm not sad - this means I can begin, again, putting things in my paper and electronic file as needed. And in this time of simplifying my life and living "less is best," I'm just fine with that.

So, here's to a great class tomorrow - welcome back to me!

Life's a Dance -

It started out with a shuffle, step-on-toes, step-together, dodge. We were dancing, but not together, his choice of music was the Beach Boys, my choice - no music please, just a calm sway to the tune of the smokey breeze. He wanted a fast country swing, I wanted a slow country two-step.

The day began this way, both of us anxious, he wanting to be moving on to a polka, and I wanting to slow the day down with a mambo - we danced a tangled tango, and a twist and shout.

By the time we had arrived at a song change, we were tired from dancing, and yet we knew we had so many more songs to dance to before the day ended.

He pushed me out, flipped me, pulled me in, tucked me under his arm, and for the first time, we slowed to a gentle two-step, together.

"I don't want to . . ." came out of my mouth at the same time, "I don't want to," came out of his. We smiled, kissed, and we step-ball-changed our plans.

"Let me lead for a minute," was my plea. And I did. And as we moved to the sound of fountains, we began to enjoy our time together.

"I have an idea," he said, and with a slide together, step together, we were back in unison.

We danced the entire day, together, no toes stepped on, laughing at how in-synch we were, how our steps mirrored each other the entire day.

We ended the day with a waltz - 1, 2, 3; 1, 2, 3; 1, 2, 3.

I am grateful for music. And for two souls who spend more time doing the chicken dance rather than the Cha-cha, we are learning that a quick-step and roll, will ease the tension of a crowded ballroom and pretty soon, we become the only ones on the dance floor.

And the refreshments were pretty good. What a gift. I like this tune.

Soaring - Proud Parent Moments -

Just a few of those proud moments right now -

First - Ava!!! 8 year old Ava made the top 100 8-year olds in the nation in gymnastics. With this honor (TOPS testing), she'll be in Indianapolis this October with other girls her age tested, taught, coached, cheerleaded. This is the little one who is a little one, who has found her passion at a young age, has parents who can support this, and she is going to soar!

Second - Jenna has been in her home a little over 8 years. When she first moved in, a new momma of Tempest, she was so lonely and alone, and she commented that she was so far away from people and her community and that she'd never find friends and her place in her farming neighborhood. I've had the opportunity to watch her over the years, and I've seen her collect and provide for friends and neighbors and create an amazing community. Her home is the gathering place for her children's friends, families, teenage boys, and others. She is a powerful simple friendly host with amazing energy. She is soaring!

Third- Julie's been dealing with a lot of tough shit the past few months. She's had to make some really difficult decisions, that hurt, dealing with "stuff" she thought was in the past and is not of her control. And she's been true to herself, even when it's meant letting go of dreams. Her reality is hard right now, but she is going to soar. I know.

Lastly - A son who has confided in me this summer, and we have worked through anxieties, self-doubt, fears. We've created a new relationship for the two of us. I've seen him change this summer; he is flying!

It's awesome to watch my family soar!

I've Let Go Of - A Mindful Practice 3 -

I have really tired of carrying around "stuff" that isn't mine to even carry. I've mentioned the "not my BBQ" perspective I've tried to take over the years. This has served me well, particularly when it has come to issues I should not be involved in or get my feathers ruffled in, or get my panties in a bunch over (I'm picking my battles rather than they picking me).

Yet there are plenty of things that still have bothered me, incidents, wrongs, injustices, and right now, a beautiful relationship of a child that's being f'd up because of addiction, and as much as I want to push my opinion, my expectations, my thoughts; it's not mine to carry; I can only send love; this is their story, not mine, not my BBQ.

And I have had to brush away what I cannot control, in order to see the bigger picture, be more realistic, and in true reflection of my INTJ personality, not get involved emotionally, think through what's happening, and then move forward consciously and rationally. Not always easy to do. But it is easy, as I begin to choose what I want to carry and what I want to never pick up.

So I'm learning to let go. Let go of:
Family dinners and what others are doing
Family reunions and what others think should be done
Sibling rivalry
Siblings telling me what I should be doing (and somehow thinking I have to do what they say!)
Climbing some sort of non-existent ladder in the corporate world
Being upset at unfairnesses in my religious organization
Worrying about the big picture at work and the timetable for implementing
And there are plenty more of these.

And in learning to let go, I've found more time for simple pleasure and for simple actions that make more of a difference in my life and the lives around me. I can only own my little piece of the world; I can only be present in the relationships that I have buy-in on and that are engaged with me; I can only request when I am also willing to offer.

I'm finding I'm more protective of the goodnesses in my life and more present to these generosities when I am not worrying, not carrying, not being involved in someone else's BBQ. Because, in all honesty, who really cares what I'm doing for Sunday dinner, what I think about next year's family reunion, or even whether or not I care or have an opinion on nursing mothers in church worship services!

I'll give my energy where I choose, where I think I can make a difference, and send Karma to stand in my place otherwise.

Letting go has allowed me to hang on to the most important people, places, thoughts, in my life.

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Hope -