See the Light - Be the Light -

Having some conflict with a former colleague. Not even sure why. 

With all the goodness in my life, I cannot allow her to mangle my emotions. 

Gonna have to look hard - but we all have light - don't we? 

Helping Hands and Stephanie Nielsen -

I've followed NieNieDialogues for quite some time. She was burned about the same time as Clifford. Jenna and I were blessed to be able to attend a couple of UofU support groups in the burn unit. She comes from good Mormon "stock," and her writings about her journey to healing are touching.

She's much younger than I; we're not in the same league, blog and notoriety-wise, but I do relate to some of what she is learning.

Today's post on receiving help from others touched me. Enjoy -

Another One (Good One) -

Another anniversary - three years ago this week - and boy howdy, I am reliving this week. Let me explain the re-living -

1.
Two weeks ago I was hired as a member of the Palliative Care Team for Intermountain Healthcare, as their chaplain!!!

The Palliative Care offices are in the same wing of the hospital as Radiation Oncology - with Dr. Jay Clark and his wonderful team as now colleagues rather than caregivers!

I walked down the hall last Thursday grinning - here I am, full-circle, healthy, happy, and hired - to my dream job. What more could I ask for - the opportunity to help those who are hurting, emotionally and physically. And although I'll never say, "I know how you feel," I can say, "I had cancer; I had chemo; I had radiation; I had anxiety; I had fear; I had questions." And I can listen - believe it or not, one of the main elements of being a folkorist and a chaplain, and this is a lane I am very comfortable in (perfect place for a introvert).

2.
Last Thursday the Timpanogos Storytelling Festival began - the same night, three years ago I found my tumor.

Yesterday I had my annual mammogram (same as every year for the past 15 years). I had found a bump, and although I wasn't worried, I was. Mammogram, then wait. Ultrasound. Call in the doctor to read. Doctor feels, asks questions. Says, "No - it's a rib and dense tissue." I exhaled.

3.
I am strong. I am breathing. I am healthy. I am not just alive; I am full of life (although still prone to being worn right out by 6pm).

4.
Thank you to the many of you for your support, for your love, your prayers, your words of encouragement. It takes a village.

And I am sooooooooooooooooo excited to begin my journey as a member of this village.

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You -

3 years ago this evening I found a lump in my left breast -

Of Barbecues and Circuses -

There's a Polish proverb with the catch-line becoming a popular phrase:

http://www.bethvogt.com/uncategorized/in-others-words-circus-monkeys/

Several years ago I had a therapist tell me that she and her husband (second marriages for both with children) decided they would not get involved in each other's ex or children issues. When one would bring up their ex or children from their first marriage, they would say, "Not my barbecue" as a way of saying, Keep me out of this, not my issue, not my problem, not necessary, keep the peace.

Well, Scott and I have tried our best to be involved in each other's lives - which includes children, and when issues in today's world come up, we work through things together. Yet when issues are brought up from the past, that need to be dealt with today, the "Not my barbecue" phrase becomes relevant. It's a reminder to not put our noses, and opinions, where they don't belong.

I've adopted that phrase for many areas of my life. My friend, Marv, likes to call me "Mother Russia," because it always seems, to him, that I'm caring for someone or something, or worrying about someone or something, or getting in to the fix-it mode. And, I probably do, but over the years I've learned when to not solve the world's problems, and this is where "Not my barbecue" comes in handy.

It's a great phrase for really stepping back and acknowledging I have no reason to be involved, to involve myself, or to try and work through someone else's issues.

Child late for dinner? Not my barbecue - then I don't have to get upset, ask questions, worry. They just are late, their issue, not mine.

Student begging to be added to a class he/she was too late in registering for? Not my barbecue - I can't change the lateness or the lack of course offerings.

Neighbor who is just a little too needy and seems to need to know everything? Not my barbecue - I can do what I can do, but part of the issue is her need to be needed, not mine.

Colleague who is always pissy and whiny and wants to pull me into issues? Not my barbecue - I'll stay in the mood I want to be in, not buy in to her's.

Prices at the restaurant higher than usual, and someone wants me to complain? Not my barbecue - I'm fine, it's you who's bugged.

Friend who says, "You really should . . ." meaning, "Could you do this for me?" Not my barbecue - I'll support you, but I'm not getting involved.

I have the urge to stick my nose where it doesn't belong? Not my barbecue - steer clear.

Deep desire to tell my adult children how they should behave, what they should be doing, impart wisdom, when not asked? Not my barbecue - I reared them to be responsible adults, let them be.

It is awesome to have this "cop out" in my "responsible for myself" tool box. I typically use this phrase to myself, so I don't get pulled in to someone else's nonsense, and Scott has seen this phrase in action - arms bent at the elbow, hands out to my side with palms facing back, a flip of the hands forward, with a nod of the head, repeating - "Not my barbecue," is so freeing and empowering. I give myself the permission to walk away, to step back, not get involved, not put my nose where it shouldn't be, not walk into a situation where I don't belong, and not to get emotionally invested in something that is of little or no consequence to me.

"Not my barbecue," she says, boldly, bravely, and then she walks away.

Adventure -

I am a sucker for an adventure - I love to travel, explore, learn, experience, discover! I know my boundaries physical exploration, risking my body, is my least favorite - but then I made it through cancer treatments, and that was quite the adventure!

I like to try new foods, visit new places, take the unpaved trail, the dirt road, the small town. How about a new hairstyle, rearranging the furniture, eating peaches with basil, grapefruit with chocolate. It's one of my most favorite things - adventure - 

Every new semester brings with it an adventure and a challenge - take 23 students, mostly strangers, get them to talk with each other and me by the 3rd class, create a community that is engaged and learning. Quite the experience! 

I've been seeking new adventure - what am I thinking - and it is just around the corner, with processes just about finished. I'm excited. 

In the meantime - this showed up via email this morning: 

“Then, one day, when you least expect it, 

the great adventure finds you.”  

Another of my favorite adventure quotes is this: 

"Go out for adventure, come home for love." 

This has been a motto of mine for years - decades. I'm not seeking outside love and recognition, just adventure. I have all the love and support I need in my home, my heart. 

May you all find a little adventure this week - it's worth the energy! 

School Starts - UVU -

I've been going to college since I was 32. I am 56! I love learning, teaching, being among 20 year olds, watching them, listening to them, seeing what they are wearing, what is important to them. Every year when I step onto campus I feel like I am the one who has changed, and for 24 years the college campus has remained the same. It's almost as if I'm stepping back in time, and I love it. I feel secure in this environment.

Ladies and gentlemen, the world is in good hands - 90% of my students are amazing, and I trust them, honor them, and I look forward to collaborating with them.

I am teaching 3 1010 (exploratory writing) classes this semester. Tuesdays and Thursdays, 8:30am to 2:15pm.

Today's conversations will begin with:

Share one thing you did this summer that was unique -
Share one thing you did this summer that was normal -

I look forward to hearing what they have to say.