Musings on my 61st -

Wandering today -

I have all I need; I don't want for much.

Birthdays - a good to way to count my blessings and to own my years.

I thought I'd let go of some things at 30; I carried them at 40; still carried them at 50 and even at 60! Time to drop them - and that means not putting them at my feet, but to put down, let go, and move forward without them.

If it doesn't make you happy, and life is about happiness and joy, then why in the sam-hell are you doing it?

Something to be said about girl-friends, particularly those you've grown up with - either from childhood or becoming cynical and then hopeful adults.

Siblings - better the older they get!

Some stuff bugs the shit out of me, other things just aren't worth my time - and neither makes any practical sense.

Age - big deal, but not really; I'm 61, so what?

I've always been an "I take care of myself" kinda gal. In my adult years I often did this with spite. Now I'm finding that it's not a bad thing that I've taken care of myself! I know how! I know what I want, how to provide for it. Good one for me.

I'm a great listener, a patient listener, and waiting really is one of my better character traits. Who woulda thunk!

It doesn't take much to be happy - a good book, dark chocolate, Diet Pepsi, something salty, a warm sunny space, a little folk music in the background . . .

Option B is often better than Option A. Same thing for Plan B.

I'm so much better at being me than being someone else!

Planning now for my next 10 years - even a senior citizen can have Goals!

A Mentor Dies - Clayton Christensen -

I found out today that a mentor of mine, Clayton Christensen, passed away yesterday. He certainly disrupted the way I viewed technology, business, education, and my life. He taught me, by his example, to not be afraid to stretch - to push boundaries, and not be afraid to stand up for my ideas.

I never met Clay, yet I think we would have been good friends - there was many a time I had a conversation with him, without speaking a word, and many times I reflected on the lessons he taught me.

This talk, "How Will You Measure Your Life," was required reading in all of my English 1010 and 2020 classes, and I gave my students extra points if they could quote any part of any of his works in their research papers.

Doggone it, he's gone. Thank you for your lessons.

The world has lost a great light in Clay Christensen’s passing, but his ideas and example will continue to bless so many in powerful and lasting ways.

Bull in a China Shop - Ode to Women by Steve Wiens -

Sometimes I'm meek, and typically that's because I've been scoffed at - "You're the bull in the china shop," "You're just like the thoroughbred horse at the gate, ready to bust through the gate before the bell rings." "You need to be a little more mild, not so energetic." "Wait, your turn will come." And so I quiet myself, restrain and reduce myself, and wait . . .
About a year ago my son-in-law said to me, "You need to be more deliberate, more bold. Use your energy; don't be afraid of it. Don't be timid any more, you have too much to share to hold back."
And as much as I am grateful for his thoughts, I ease into those words of the past - "Hold back, hold back."
I think there is a happy space here for me. To be deliberate and bold, in my way, which includes waiting and watching and then entering when it's safe or my turn, or not.
This writing touched me; this is where I am right now, nearing my birthday - 61, and realizing that time is of the essence, and if I have something to say or do or be, now is the time.

Enjoy -

An Ode To the Women Who are "Too Much"

"My dad always told me I was a bull in a china shop."

She was looking down at her lap when she said that to me as if trying to shirk a shadow that had

followed her for more than twenty-five years. I paused before I answered.

"Do you think it might be time for a new metaphor?"

When she looked up at me, I realized I was the first person to suggest that she could.

I have had the great pleasure of knowing many women who have been told, over and over again,

that they are "too much." Take it down a few notches, they are told, over and over and over again,

in fourteen million different ways. Men don't like you because they feel like you're stronger than

them. Women are intimidated by you. You're too opinionated, too loud, too direct, too sexy,

too bossy, too bitchy, too emotional, too moody, too funny. Too much like a guy.

This is for all the amazing women

who have been labeled "too much" their entire life by the small men and women who didn't,

or couldn't, see you.

It's time to burn that metaphor like a 70's polyester bra.

You're not too much. You probably haven't shown the world nearly enough.

We need you to be your strong, imperfect, direct, funny, brash, hilarious, sometimes

intimidating self.

We need you to surround yourself with people who don't need to diminish you in order to feel

more secure. We need your ideas, your vision, your leadership, your presence... all of it,

120 proof.

If we need a chaser after being around you, that's up to us to figure that out.

It might be time to stop taking care of people who can't handle you. It might be time to stop

applying for jobs and start your own company. It might be time to write the next book

without the editor's voice in the back of your mind telling you to soften your message.

Be a stay at home mom. Be the President of Harvard, or the United States, or your book club.

Stop saying sorry all the time. You'll need a tribe of people cheering you on as you do this

because haters gonna hate. This tribe will cheer your every victory without the petty

jealousy that has stifled your ambition. This tribe will get in your face when you actually

are too much (and you'll love them for it).

For many of you, the nonstop stories of sexual harassment, . . . have brought up memories
that you've struggled to overcome for much of your life.

You'll need a tribe of people that you can rage with and heal with so that your true self

can emerge and stand up straight. Don't know anyone like that?

Let these words be the start of a conversation with a new tribe. 

https://www.stevewiens.com/shownotes/2017/11/11/an-ode-to-the-women-who-are-too-much

Snow and Robert Frost -

Texting with my other-daughter who lives in Florida this morning. I shared a photo of the snowstorm going on in my world, and she shared that the lawn was being mowed. And then this:

Dust of Snow

The way a crow
Shook down on me
The dust of snow
From the hemlock tree

Has given my heart
A change of mood
And saved some part
Of a day I had rued.

Now to make it to SLC in this - and then I won't have rued the day. Stay warm -

Death -

A tender young father passed away today. He died a horrible death with the cancer killing him organ by organ. Eventually - matter-of-factly - he died of starvation. His brain, heart, lungs were working just fine. However he couldn't eat or drink, and he had no way of obtaining nourishment.

He lost; his wife, young children lost; his colleagues and friends lost. His family lost. WE lost. Cancer won.

Not fair at all. FUCK cancer.

2020 Resolutions -

At nearly 61, I am of the mind that this year my New Year's Resolution/s will be, "No Resolution." And yet I'm so stinking goal, project, deadline driven, that unmaking is a tough resolution in itself!

So I think this year my resolutions will include one biggie that I've been working on these past few months, and that is refining the art of "Letting Go." I really don't like baggage - I have an uncluttered home, I don't pack much when traveling, I love clothes - so I'm re-evaluating my "brand," yet I wear little makeup and take only a few minutes in the morning getting ready for work. Working full-time and still having time for myself and my family has helped me sculpt this simpler life. I like Hygge, and I have written about it more than once, and in this complicated world I live in but don't want to live in, I need to find my way, once again, into simplicity, particularly for myself.

And with that, in the words of Jill Sherer Murray (I know little about her except for this Ted talk), I will be letting go of:

1. Taking things personally and over analyzing them
2. What other people think and believe
3. Trying to be someone other than myself, conforming is boring
4. The need to be perfect or "fit in"
5. "Not yet," don't take time for granted.

Adding to this:
1. Laugh
2. Love
3. Me

As always, the above are subject to change - 😊

New Year's Worksheets - 2020 Resolutions -

We all have one life! This week I've read so many forms of New Year's resolutions and thoughts.
My favorite is this:

"One life. Just one. Why aren't we running like we are on fire towards our wildest dreams?" Definitely one about risk-taking, seizing the moment, making dreams!

Another favorite is about ridding ourselves of negative thoughts and actions:

"Shame-proof your new year: Body positivity rather than weight loss. Intuitive eating rather than dieting. Authenticity rather than perfectionism. Intention setting rather than resolutions."

Another:

"Dear 2020, I am ready to make this year mine. It's time to put my energy toward what brings me joy, loving myself and my body, and making my mental health a priority. Let's do this."

And:
"New Year's Resolutions: I won't make myself small for others. I will practice more self-care. I won't start a diet, instead I'll honor my body's needs. I will do more things I enjoy. I will allow myself to change."

These templates may jog a thought or two toward a resolution.

New Year's Resolution ____________    2019's

This year I will try _______________    to accept other's Points of View

I will do more ___________________   drinking of water

I will do less ____________________   whining

My priorities are _________________   Let it go .  .  .



For __________

I want to learn __________________

I want more ____________________

I want less _____________________

My 3 word intention is ___________



From this day forward I will:

Find strength __________________

Walk away from _______________

Find security in ________________

Step into the unknown ___________

Not waste my time ___________

Spend time ____________________


Regardless of the resolutions I make, break, re-resolve, I always pick an "Om" word. Still not sure about this year's - ones in the past have been: Home, Savor, Heal, I am, Be still. Last night I thought perhaps "Light," yet still not solid on this.

Happy resolving!