Watermelon Crawl -

Happy Fourth of July everyone! The watermelon's on me -

Cravings

Last night, my sweet husband went to KFC for me - the only thing sounding good was their potatoes and gravy (I have not eaten their P&G in 30 years). Made me think of my odd list of cravings this past month.

One day, out of the blue, I was craving a brown rice vege bowl from Rumbi's  - I've never had one, but it sounded good. Jenna ran to Rumbi's, purchased one, I ate half of it. Another day, I craved a whole wheat vege sandwich from Good Earth's restaurant - I haven't eaten there in years, it was delicious.

And, Tom Ka soup from Bangkok Grill - yum. A vege burger from Burger Supreme, good for all but the last 2 bites. Wendy's salad and spicy chicken bites - tasty - even for this vegetarian! Their chocolate Frosty was also good, however the healthy dark chocolate covered almonds I ate the following day didn't settle well.

As I look at this list, I'm reminded of when I was pregnant with Tyler and Jenna - didn't know what I wanted to eat, what I could eat, until the moment my craving hit - then I ate. However I did crave a few things - with Tyler it was ham and cream cheese bagel sandwiches, with Jenna - tuna fish sandwiches and home canned grape juice. I could not gag down milk or white flour when pregnant with Jenna. After she was born I craved, and ate, milk and Pecan Sandies! I've decided pregnancy cravings and cancer cravings are very similar.

Thank heavens a couple of friends have had a handle on my cravings: chicken rice and vege soup, homemade whole wheat bread, watermelon. Delicious.

I wasn't craving, but Mom's fried sweet potatoes and steamed salmon with peeled cucumbers and tomatoes hit the spot. Her chicken noodle soup always settle well. Fresh raspberries are safe - any time. 

Another night it was Little Ceasar's veggie pizza - good, until the heartburn set in. Pizza for lunch also sounded good - but wasn't. Neither was the real sugar throwback Pepsi - bummer. On occasion I'm in the mood for an avocado and tortilla chips for lunch. Bought avocados today, just in case!

Mornings, my typical bowl of multi-grain goji berry cereal with protein powder and blueberries or raspberries and coconut milk or almond yogurt. Satisfying, and so far, no side-effects.

In the afternoons I crave fruit: raspberries, mango, apple, but they hurt my mouth and my stomach. 

So far I've conquered the pukes - but heartburn and nausea are ruling my days. Always an adventure - 

Round 3 of chemo today - whoopee!

Missing My Dad -

My father died 3 years ago today. Gosh I miss him -

After becoming his neighbor, he would shuffle over to our home around 7:30 am, knock on the back door, or more often than not, open the door, step inside and holler, "Are you dressed?" as he continued into the kitchen. More often than not, I was getting ready for the day, and not dressed. Eventually I learned to keep the door locked, but he'd pound until Scott or I answered. As he aged he would continue with this journey in the morning, but now we could hear the shuffle of the tennis balls and plastic wheels on his walker - good warning. I miss this.

When I had cancer he'd come over during the day to visit. He said to me, "I don't know what I can do for you, but I can be available for you." Just his presence was a gift, and the fact that he didn't shy away from me while I was in pain was very endearing and typical Dad. He was always available - when I was a child and as an adult. I miss this.

I've had a couple of stressful months (career-wise). I liked to talk to him when he had his "boss" hat on. He listened objectively and gave good advice. I didn't always follow his suggestions, but I listened and learned. There have been many times when I have wanted his ear and his thoughts. I miss this.

After Dad retired from his restaurant jobs, he took up Dutch Oven cooking and woodworking. Both of which he excelled at - winning prizes for his cooking and winning hearts and buyers with his woodworking. He had a "can-do" attitude, and he definitely had this same attitude for his kids. He pushed us to excel, and he was the prime example of taking an idea and making it into something tangible. I miss this.

And with this, Dad spent hours a day in his workshop with his lathe or saws going, and his generator running. Living next door, I heard the hum from his generator all day, and sometimes into the night. If he remembered, he'd turn it off before ending his day, but there were plenty of times that I'd hear this sound into the night. And in the mornings, he'd turn this on first thing, and this became a sign, to me, that he was up and he had projects on his mind. I'd get a call or two during the day, or a knock on the door, "I need you to look at this." The lack of sound is more apparent these days than that rumble or ring ever was. I miss this.

My dad was an "experimenter." Whether this was a recipe, a wood-turning idea, or a gardening experiment, he enjoyed trying something new. He often created a new recipe from the goods growing in his garden, and he'd bring it over for me to taste. Dang, his peach/basil salsa, his watermelon salsa, his sweet and sour stir fry that was so sweet - I miss this.

Dad loved color, and this time of year this was apparent in the beautiful roses and flower beds. As time marched on and his health failed, he still could be seen pruning his roses. He wanted bright, big, balanced, pruned and sculpted. I miss this.

These days I have silent conversations with him - asking questions, giving thanks, and repeating back to myself his words of advice, concern, and love. And I hear him -

The New Man on the Team - Lessons -

Right before we moved to Alabama, from Utah, a friend gave me some fine words of wisdom: "Don't say, 'Where I come from we do it this way.' Listen first, watch second, talk last."

That advice came in handy as I watched Edie drop the watermelon onto the concrete patio rather than cut it into slices. It worked when I was asked to decorate for the annual Christmas Tree Festival, and when Pops brought over green tomatoes, rather than cringe, I asked him, "How do you use these?" Rather than wonder (outloud) why on earth he'd picked these big beautiful tomatoes before they turned red. 

Of course, this was more than 25 years ago, and lots of experiences since - and yet this phrase and lesson have always been in the forefront of my mind. I've tried to go into a conversation, a meeting, a new job, a group of people, with an open mind, throwing my agenda out the window and adopting a "teach me," outlook. 

This does also go along with the value of "Nobody care how much you know until they know how much you care," that I was taught by both parents - part of the hospitality "the customer is always right" mentality, yet also that "shut up and listen" attitude both of my parents were pros at. 

That doesn't mean I don't have an ego or that I can't jump into a conversation and quickly insert my foot, yet I've learned over the years that if I'm not teaching (not lecturing, but teaching) I need to check my ego at the door and walk into the situation open and teachable. 

One experience that really pushed my boundaries on the "watch first" attitude was when I went to work as the office manager for an automotive development firm. Quite the experience going into the staff meeting, three women among 25 men, and listen to them talk using computer acronyms an automotive terminology. So foreign to me! I wrote a note on my pad - "How on earth am I going to learn this language?" And then I did - by asking questions and listening. This was one place where, even if I'd had an agenda, it wouldn't have worked! 

And yet there have been plenty of times where I've known the language, but needed to listen to material presented before showing my own knowledge. And there have been plenty of times where I've been the one presenting material, the expert on "green tomatoes," and yet asked for input from others. 

The team I work with (not for) has grown from a tight-knit group of 5 to a larger group of 10, as well as several managers and several teams we collaborate with. We've had to do a delicate dance to not only hire, but acclimate the newbie to "our way," while also listening to their ideas and suggestions. It's a give and take - and until a couple of weeks ago, we've done this adjusting pretty well. Yet hiring someone who "knows" and isn't afraid to tell can be gut-wrenching to a team. 

I'm reminded of a student who came to my writing class the first day with half of his research done on a paper about Harley Davidson's, with an "I've got this" attitude, and only wanting to finish this paper for his A. And when he told me his way of doing things, and I listened, and then told him that he would need to learn my way, he was pretty upset. Because his way had worked just great - indeed, "I've written a lot, I just need to pass this class." He wasn't about to learn anything new, only to show that he already knew. And he lasted about 3 weeks, until the first preliminary research paper was due - which he couldn't/wouldn't write. 

And so - the new guy on the block knows everything, wants to make sure we all know he knows, and isn't afraid to corner any member of the team to tell us how he sees us fitting into his practice; with "This is how I did it here . . ." being his constant phrase. Ouch! Team work? And when I mildly called him on it yesterday - well, let's say, it didn't pertain to him - he knew that! 

And life goes on! Guess I'll see what I can learn from him!