Pathological Optimist -

I visited with a spouse of a patient who recently passed away. He was busy working on finalizing a book, talking about what his hopes are for that - Intentional Grandparenting. He shared with me his Mother's day experience for the first MD since his wife had passed: he went through his wife's jewelry, sorted through pieces, then hand-selected broaches and bracelets and necklaces for each daughter and grand-daughter. He put them in bags with a bow, and gave them to each person on Saturday. When they got together on Sunday, all of the children had these pieces on. He said he was so grateful he had decided to do this.

He talked about his wife's death and how beautiful it was, how grateful he was for his daughters and their help, and how much he missed her, but he knew she was enjoying her time in heaven with her family. 

I asked him about his outlook, looking forward, moving forward. And he said, "I'm a pathological optimist." I thought about a patient last week who asked, "What's wrong with being Pollyanna'ish? I think we give her a bum rap - there's nothing wrong with always looking for the silver lining." Another friend said, "I am skeptically optimistic." 

What's the difference between the three? And where do I fit in this continuum? Is optimism a healthy attribute? 

I do try to look for the best in others, even those who are not necessarily the best. And yet, I'm cautious - not showing all my cards until I can trust (and even then I'm hesitant). I am hopeful when I move into a project, cautious in determining what my role is, who the bosses are going to be, who the players are, and if the project is even real. I'm definitely not Pollyanna in my thinking. Life isn't full of sunshine and lollipops - I've had enough life experiences to know that some days are just cloudy, and tomorrow may be as well. 

So if I have to define myself and my optimistic outlook - I think I'd say I'm realistically optimistic, or critically thinking optimistic. I've learned to see inside, between, around, through people, events, projects, look for what can happen, what might happen, what should happen, and the time involved in building relationships and projects, and then decide if they are even worth my time. 

And you?