Oddly, this as well gives me so much freedom. With a plan I can also be spontaneous, knowing when I have time to open up my hours, knowing what I can drop or rearrange, and when I can say "yes," without worrying whether something was already planned.
Now - this drives Scott crazy! He hates a schedule. Don't fence the man in! Yet he often relies on me, or spends time rescheduling because he forgot, or even yet - saying "I'm sorry I forgot," two weeks after the fact.
After cancer I had a hard time even remembering to write things down, and I missed a few things; I couldn't trust my memory. And even these days I have 3 calendars I sync, just to keep work and home schedules coordinated (my days are not succinctly into work and home).
I read this article a few days ago, and I'm a believer - spontaneity is magical; it's invigorating; it brings life to life. And I appreciate the call for Balance -
Here you go:
This Habit Causes Many People to Miss the Magic in Life
There is one habit or
“way of life” that causes many people to miss out on what I call “the magic” of
life. The habit shows up in slightly different ways, but always has
one defining feature – there is NO room for spontaneity.
So the habit, to be
specific, is living your life like a well planned military operation –
where structure and routine reign supreme, and you know where you will be,
when you will be there, what you will do and how it will all pan out… well
before anything ever happens. Your daily and weekly schedule is familiar, or if
not familiar at the very least full, planned and executed to that exact
intention.
The Kicker
Here's the kicker…
living life like this can actually lead to great success in many ways. You
have set a plan and you deliver to it. You know what outcomes those plans
generate and you work to those and enjoy the results. This applies whether
we're talking about your work, or your weekend routine, or your evening
routine. The fact being structured like this leads to success (getting
results) tends to make people adhere to the fully planned out
schedule even more.
However, one thing
I've learnt in life is that…
What makes us
successful, if taken to the extreme, can also be our downfall.
There has to be
BALANCE in how you are being and what you are doing if you want to experience
and benefit from all life has to offer you.
You Want Me to Abandon My Routine?
No! Not at all. When I
say routine, plans, schedule… I'm not suggesting you don't have those things.
Rather I'm suggesting that you have your crucial Life
Anchors locked and
loaded (which are recurring rituals and planned experiences that you know keep
you balanced, present and physically/mentally/emotionally well),
and that you allow some space in your broader
daily and weekly life for spontaneity outside of your familiar routine and
commitments.
If you know exactly
what each day is going to look like in advance, and you're not even remotely
interested in what life could unexpectedly serve up to you, then…
- Where is the fun in life?
- Where is the variety?
- Where is the adventure?
- Where is the spice of life?
- Where is the unfolding of things you didn't anticipate?
- Where is the space for magic?
Where Did the Magic Go?
Well, the answer is –
you scheduled it RIGHT OUT OF YOUR LIFE, because you consciously or
subconsciously chose certainty over uncertainty.
Many people
(granted, not everyone) who live on a schedule with plans laid in advance and
no room for unfolding magic, do so because they want certainty and
love certainty. They may even convince themselves that they NEED certainty
– like it is a pre-requisite for comfort, success and mental/emotional
stability. Certainty is addictive (click here to read more on that!) and it can also be destructive.
The other reason
people don't allow room for spontaneity and unfolding in their lives, is that
they can't bear the thought of being alone or being without plans.
They fear the
thought of being still, of being without action, of being without agenda, of
being left in a vortex where they don't know what to do with themselves. Often
they believe that being idle or sitting in a space for magic to unfold = being
useless, being directionless and thus being “unsuccessful”. None of which
is true.
Being Spontaneous is Not Being Flaky
Have you ever heard
this saying below?
While it may seem a
bit “over the top” to use that quote in relation to this topic of having
more space for spontaneity in your daily life, you can definitely apply
this overall theme on a micro-scale. If you don't have plans for a
particular hour, afternoon, evening, day, week or month – does that mean you're
lost? No. If you purposely decide to create space in your schedule just to see
what unfolds, does that mean you're idle and wishy-washy? No. Does it mean
you are not clear on what you want? No. Does it mean you're not doing all you
can to create what you want? No. Does it mean you won't have success,
results, and joy? No.
YOU Need You to be Spontaneous;the Universe Needs You to
Be Spontaneous
You are co-creating
your life. Sometimes you need to create a bit of space in your daily or weekly
or monthly routine, so that the Universe can present you with magic… or more
accurately put, so that you will RECOGNIZE the magic when it is presented! That
magic can include opportunities that you weren't expecting,
sights/sounds/insights and experiences you weren't anticipating, and
synchronicities that you might not otherwise recognize/understand if
you are busy and intent on your pre-planned path (ie. rejecting spontaneity or
any trajectory away from your intended activity).
What Does it Mean to Create Space?
Well… just be aware in
the small moments of your daily life. You don't have to clear your schedule,
just be really present in what you are doing, be conscious… make choices rather
than running on auto-pilot. Rather than defaulting to what you will eat for lunch
based on habit, make a choice about what to eat. Rather than driving home
robotically the way you always do while you're lost in your mind thinking
about past and future, make a choice about which way to drive. Rather than
turning on the TV and watching what you always watch, make a choice about how
to spend your afternoon/evening. You may choose what you always have chosen,
but at least you'll be doing it CONSCIOUSLY.
You have to be
conscious in order to create space for YOU to be spontaneous (let alone
for you to recognize the magic that the Universe can present to you!)
I Confess… I Almost Killed the Magic!
The reason I decided
to write this article is that I woke up set with the intent to follow my usual
work routine. I do my morning rituals for Mind/Body/Spirit (which are part of
my Life
Anchors) and then set
about my online work. Aaron (my husband, for those who don't know him) woke up
with a different idea. He spontaneously suggested we go hiking all morning. My
mind was intent on my pre-planned schedule. I said no. And part of me thought,
“Are you crazy? It's a work day. There are things to be done.” Yes, sad but
true… despite what I teach, that is what my initial reaction was!
He looked at me and
asked if I'd like to reconsider. He's a wise man! His look said it all… there
is more to life than work, and given I tend to work on weekends sometimes he
recommended I reconsider and allow spontaneity to join the party. He was right.
It wasn't going to cause me to miss any deadlines or commitments. So…
Shockingly (given I
love my plans just as much as the next person), I closed my laptop and spent
all morning out hiking with Aaron and then finished off with a delicious Chai
Tea topped with cinnamon. I can't think of a better way to have spent my
morning. I was immersed in nature, came home feeling amped, energised, healthy and
blessed. It totally reoriented my thinking… and here is the magic
that arose… I've had a whole lot of creative ideas come to mind for my
work, including several finer points that I was feeling stuck on. That is
one of the gifts of breaking routine and embracing spontaneity.
Miracles show up if
you ALLOW them to come into your life.
And don't get caught
up thinking that miracles mean the parting of the Red Sea, a Unicorn dancing in
your garden, that you suddenly wake up 20 pounds lighter than yesterday, or
that you win the lottery. Miracles are as simple as – a change in perspective, a
creative idea, a different path opening up in your awareness, new choices being
made leading to seeing new people, new opportunities and thus new results
becoming available, new memories being made that you'll have forever… and the
list goes on!
And what I got to see
on my spontaneous outing (while living here in Bali) was an incredible
procession of people carrying offerings to temple… a new experience and image
burned in my memory. I already have plenty of memories of staring at a laptop
screen burned in my memory, so it's not like I desperately needed more of that!
Rather, this new memory just added colour and depth to my life experience that
I will not forget nor regret…
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