What Doesn't Kill You - And Yet -

Do you think that we have a tendency to have "pregnancy amnesia" when it comes to hard times? After the time is over, we may wallow in anger or denial or pain, and yet as time goes on, we see the good that comes from it rather than the bad?

Do humans naturally have a growth/resiliency mindset?

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"? As much as I hate that, I do believe there is some truth to the phrase.

Earlier this week I moaned, complained, and because I couldn't jump up and down or stomp my feet, go for a drive, run away, I sat in complete frustration.

See, these past 6 weeks have been very tough. And upon whining to 2 friends, I came to this understanding.

If we don't acknowledge the bad, we cannot see the good.

And so I did -

Trip to Hawaii 6 weeks ago - fantastic, and yet - tore up my foot.

I had a vacation - and yet upon the trip home from Hawaii the day, the sky fell, the pandemic barriers came into place.

We were supposed to go to Portugal 10 days after Hawaii; we didn't. And yet - we were able to get nearly all of our money back.

And life changed. Social distancing, work-from-home, slow the surge, businesses closed, and I'm down.

I was able to see a sports medicine doctor the day after I came home - and yet no non-essential surgeries could be performed; the best foot orthopedic surgeon considered the mending of my foot non-essential.

Turned around and 3 days later, with an MRI in hand, thanks to the sports med doc and my chiropractor, was able to see another sports med doctor who, working with many athletes, recognized the tears in my foot and the urgency to get my foot back together again.

Surgery happened - and yet I've had to pay out of pocket.

Foot is going to work - and yet I have hurt like hell. This has been hard, hard.

Because of CoVid I'm working from home - and yet - oh, there is no and yet! It's been the perfect time for my foot surgery and recovery! I have not missed any work days!

AND YET - I have not driven a car in 6 weeks; I have been beholden to fantastically patient Scott for everything; I have been on crutches and in a boot. I haven't worn a shoe on my right foot in 6 weeks! I've missed exercising, seeing my colleagues, and being independent!

I pulled my sling-shot and clay BB's out of the cabinet, walked outside, and shot away. Being able to work off a little angst helped some, and helped me work through the frustrating elements of the past few weeks.

I've been amazingly at peace, positive, and in a good place, and I want to keep that with me, and yet - if I don't acknowledge the uncomfortableness of the situations I'm in, it will rise up sometime.

Not cancer, not death, not debilitating, not financially draining, And yet - I'm learning a lot about myself - being an observer is a great way to participate. Being still - my goal for this year, takes a lot of work.

Life is good! I am resilient; this too shall pass; I have hope.