Life Mottos - Enough Already!

Been thinking about this phrase, "We Rise by Lifting Others," often attributed to Amanda Gorman, yet originated with Robert Ingersoll. 

Call it Karma, good intentions, manipulation, golden rule, it is something I believe in and have attempted to practice all of my life. 

This has been my motto for the last several years of me life, besides the statement, "We're all just walking each other home." This has been essential as I've worked with those living, dying, and trying to live, in the hospital. It's not my story - it's my patient's and client's, and I have given my very best to hold hands with my clients and listen to them as they've walked their paths while in the hospital and beyond. 

Perhaps my most powerful set of rules to live by is a series of three statements I created way back when I was in my teens - "Be Fair, Be True, Do No Harm." These have guided everything, and I mean everything, I've done in my life. Maybe the most poignant and powerful example of this is when I divorced twenty years ago. While I wanted out of my marriage, I really truly did not want to hurt my ex or my children. Of course, we all had wounds, but these were not given intentionally, and I have worked so hard to live my life doing no harm and carrying no harm. 

I've always felt a thrill of adventure and, "I Dwell in Possiblity" by Emily Dickenson has given me the push/guilt to always reach for more, be excited for the next . . . . I'm tired! 

However - always the caveat - these past four years have been so very very hard. And while I've lifted others, journeyed with others, and been fair, true, and not hurtful, I've realized I have hurt myself. All the emotions of hurt, rejection, fear, anger, anxiousness, betrayal, frustration, and more I have either pushed aside or swallowed. I've worked through many situations that have caused these emotions, but I haven't been very good about giving myself the grace necessary to heal. 

I have spent most of my life making sure others felt valued and accepted, giving out, and yet struggling to reach in. For some reason I've felt like if I could do more, be more, have more (education, experience, property), I could prove to "whomever" that I was of value, that I did have worth, and then all the profound hurt I've felt would leave. 

This past weekend, while trying to get some of my ya'ya's out of me, I realized, again, I don't need anything more. I AM ENOUGH! I am good enough, good enough, good enough. I have reached my "Rest and Be Thankful" summit and now I can settle into the peace this journey can give me as I savor the beauty around me. 

My statue of Quan Yin sits on my night stand, relaxed, eyes gazing on the open lily she holds in her hand needs to be that reminder to relax, look at where I've been, what I've done, and relish this time of peace. 

I've written these thoughts so many times, they're on my mind constantly, yet my affirmation for the time-being is this - ENOUGH, enjoy what I have, enjoy where I'm at, and settle. 

Enough.