"Calm down," my husband hollers at me when I'm just a little stressed or over-stretched.
"Ronda, stop! That's 'good enough,' you don't need to do more," can be quite the challenge when I want to spend a little more time.
"Take it easy," I hear when I'm pushing toward a self-imposed deadline.
"Don't forget to take time for yourself," the phrase shared at work, daily.
"Make time to rest this weekend," is often the final statement in my Friday work email collection.
"Go to bed early," is a kind challenge, again.
While these directions are meant to be kind and thoughtful, rather, they are riddled with patronizing, "mansplaining" words that are easy to offer, difficult to act on.
I'm already giving these directives to myself, and hearing them from someone who seems to know me better than I do, is disheartening, and depending on the day, quite frustrating.
This is what I've learned about myself in the few weeks of 2022 -
"Good enough" is my New Year's Resolution. I have no desire to do anything more than necessary; "easy does it," "the path of least resistance," and "take it easy," are places I need to be for my own sanity this year. I am goal-driven, project-pushed, yet I have no desire, or energy, to do any more than I can do, today, tomorrow. "No pressure" is all the pressure I want to put on myself.
I know how and when to calm down, and I'm doing the best I can to monitor my level of anxiety; hopefully this keeps the "calm" in and "calm down" out.
In order to "take it easy" I need to give myself permission to say no, set boundaries, go to bed and read, watch a movie, and simplify wherever I can.
Time for myself includes a longer shower, leaving work at exactly the 8 hour mark, and being more methodical, rather than frantic, in my actions and thoughts. Time also includes silky pj's at 6pm, "clean the fridge" dinners, and gentle yoga for exercise.
Gonna be tough, yet I can do hard/easy things! And that's good enough.
For The One Who Is Exhausted
You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken in the race of days.
…
You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.
…
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.
…
Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
John O’Donohue
