Monday, September 29, 2014

On Another Note -

I've been putting together a "Diversity" program for Intermountain Healthcare's Urban South Region, meaning UVRMC, AmFork, and Orem hospitals. This has been a blast - I know how to assemble this program, run a diversity team, and write, organize, display, produce folk ways!

So as with any research, once the topic is in my mind, I become aware of related material - kind of like having breast cancer and meeting so many other people, reading so much material, being aware of breast cancer every where I turn.

And this is the latest tidbit on Diversity and Cultural Awareness. A perfect example of cultural differences and social mores. Enjoy!


Friday, September 19, 2014

18 Months Post and Chemo Brain -

Well, happy day here. Not that I was expecting anything different than what I received, but I tell you, the anniversary anxiety, which comes every 3 months for the first 2 years, is tough. I look at these doctors' visits as markers of moving past and beyond breast cancer, but they are also reminders of where I was, and quite frankly, where I could be, if any indicators were there.

So - great blood pressure, great weight, mammogram was clear, and I'm just waiting to hear about blood tests - red and white blood cell counts. But I don't expect anything other than "all is well."

Today, prior to my doctor's appointment (visited with my chemo oncologist, Dr. Rich) I listened to a webinar on Chemo-brain. I have been blessed with this lovely gift, and I have worked hard at being aware and on top of this, but the symptoms and signs are always evident.

These include:
  • Brain fog - almost like a dust cloud is over my head, causing a darkening of my thoughts. Not dark as in depression, but dark as in not being able to see clearly.
  • Wart on my tongue - yes, you heard me correctly. It's not even like the word is on the tip of my tongue, but the word is covered by something, and I can't uncover that to get to the word. It's as if I can't even find the file in my brain with the word I need to access.
  • Short-term memory loss - not long-term, but forgetting to pay a bill, forgetting where I parked, forgetting an appointment. And it's more than forgetting - it's not even computing.
  • Inability to multi-task - I'm not talking doing 19 things at once, but simply putting the clothes into the wash, working on a writing project, while dinner is cooking. That's the type of multi-tasking that has been tough. I have to systematically order out my tasks, and then focus, and walk through each one, individually.
  • Overwhelmed - too much stimulus can cause headaches, increase brain fog, increase anxiety and stress. Feelings of being overwhelmed can be simply too many emails, too many phone calls, too many people in the room, and too little space to process.
  • Lack of Focus - many women report feeling as if they are ADHD. I have a tough time staying focused, particularly during meetings or in group settings. As well, occasionally I have a difficult time finishing something I start - leaving many projects half-finished.
So - are there solutions? Yes! There is hope! About 75% of breast cancer chemo patients have short-term chemo brain. This is typically evident post-treatment, because face it, we are too busy surviving to really address any of the changes that are happening to our bodies. Most women with chemo brain will have some affects through about 6-9 months post-treatment, then they issues will slide away, and the women will be just fine, with no residual affects. About 35% of those 75% will have chemo brain that lingers up to 5 years post-treatment, with 20% of cancer survivors having long-term issues. However - there are things that all women who are going through breast cancer treatment - chemo and radiation, to regain their real, rather than chemo, brain.

These include:
  • Patience - If you are experiencing long-term memory loss or your chemo brain lingers or seems to be getting worse, see your doctor and ask for a neuro-eval. This is most likely not chemo-brain. If you are 8 months post-treatment, you should see an increase of brain function. However - life with cancer is about changes, and changes in attitude and dealing with memory issues is probably necessary. Laugh off memory loss mistakes (I teach 3 writing classes at my university, and when I forget a word or an assignment or to whom I was just speaking, I just have to laugh). Smile when you forget to pay a bill, apologize, blame your cancer (legit), and then ask for fees to be waived.
  • Simplify - write appointment dates down so you don't forget them. Organize your world - a place for everything, everything in its place; use a calendar, reduce distractions. Make lists - I have a small tablet I carry with me, and I have an app on my phone for lists. I also e-mail myself things I need to remember to do electronically.  
  • Sleep - the body heals when it sleeps. A dark bedroom, no artificial light (computer), and a cooler rather than warm room. Women need about 8-9 hours of sleep at night. Naps are good, but deep REM sleep is important.
  • Exercise - Get those endorphins pumping, get your body moving, and get the blood flowing. All of this purges the body of toxins while also strengthening muscles - including the heart and brain. Obesity exacerbates brain deficits. While exercise stimulates the body, remembering the exercises, breathing, thinking about routines and posture, all help the brain. Consider doing word or number puzzles, reading new material, or writing as ways of exercising your brain. 
  • Nutrition - Eat right! Stay away from trans-fatty anything (hydrogenated oil), and highly processed foods should be avoided. Interestingly - most chemo offices do not offer healthy snacks, rather they offer quick carb highly processed trans-fat munchies. Perhaps dealing with chemo brain is getting your oncologist to offer healthy alternatives. Protein heals, fruits and vegetables give quick energy and are filled with fiber, and eating simple is the key to your brain and body healing.
  • Vitamin D - natural sunlight is a gift we all should recognize. D heals chemo gray skin, helps build strong bones (chemo and radiation are not kind to our bones), helps heal the immune system, and decreases the chances for heart disease. Vitamin D and its accompanying sunlight also help with sleep.
  • Cytocines - read about them! 
  • Be kind to yourself - Recognize when you are having a chemo-brain moment and determine what sources are contributing to it. We can be our worst enemies (next to cancer), and really, we just have to put one foot in front of the other some days, and be grateful we can do this.
Lastly - if you, or someone you love (me!!!) has had breast cancer treatments, listen to this podcast about chemo brain. It will rock your world.


I absolutely adore this picture of Scott and me. He gives me the strength to be me. 
He is my rock, my pillar of authenticity. This guy's love never waivers. This is us. 





Friday, September 12, 2014

On The Air!

I had the privilege and honor of being on "The Apple Seed," a show on KBYU. My friend, Sam Payne, interviewed me about my role as a chaplain. I hope I did the role, and the calling, justice. 


Today's episode will also be available in their audio archive (www.byuradio.org/appleseed​) later this afternoon. I start at 14:00. 


Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Relief -

There's something about red rock mountains, sand under my toes, and running water, that does my soul good. Zion, and its surrounding communities feed me and fill me. Spending time there is healing and restful. It is so nice to unplug and focus on the here and now. Practicing mindfulness - living in the moment, is so easy when surrounded by beauty.

We visit often, considering Zion, Springdale, our home-away-from-home. We even have our favorite place to stay - Canyon Ranch - where we can cook in our little kitchen, sit on the grass and bird and people watch, visit with Mark and Karen, the managers, or just chill. We usually take our bikes with us, and we don't get in the car the entire time we're there - walking or biking are our favorite modes of transportation.

We try to do something new every time we visit, and even in this small area, we are able to do this, going home with a list for the next time. This time we were able to tour the "backside" of Zion - the northwest area, outside of the typical Zion bus tour. Absolutely stunning - left me wanting -

Everyone needs a place of respite, a Zion, whether it's a bedroom with a lock on the door, a favorite coffee shop, a backyard, or a place in the mountains, by water, or in the desert.

I am blessed that my Zion is so nearby. I am a better person when I've had some time to breathe - particularly breathing in clear mountain air. Life comes back together, my balloon is deflated (that's good), and I can continue on with my life, being me, being whole.






Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Pop -

Ever been at a point in your life when you are about ready to explode - a balloon ready to pop?

Well, welcome to my life, again -


Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Another -

On Thursday I "celebrate" 2 years since finding a lump in my left breast. I'm overflowing with emotions - regret, despair, sorrow, hope, fear, loss, joy . . .
There are many things I'd like to say, to write, but right now isn't the time. Except for these few things:

Know your breasts.
Never be afraid to call your doctor about "something small." There are no small things.
Live in the moment - embrace life, daily.
Move forward -
And to that Ronda 2 years ago - tread into the unknown in faith, hope, and curiosity.
Life is grand - although not easy.
Live a life of no regrets.

Namaste -




Friday, August 22, 2014

High Fives -

It has been one heck of a week:
Friday - Phone dies. Have to purchase a new one. Haircut, not the best.
Saturday - Pick up phone. Pick up Thule bike rack for car. T-mobile to figure out some broken apps. Demolition Derby - Right on.
Sunday - Dinner for the masses. Clean up. Configure phone while watching movies.
Monday - S-Z phone numbers missing from phone. Attempt to send e-mail to those whose e-mail addresses I have, while installing updates. Computer crashes. Really crashes. Work out - intermittent sprints for 1 hour. Most running I've done in my entire life. Best Buy shopping. Purchase computer.
Tuesday - Attempt to work from laptop that doesn't have my school-related material housed on it. Back to Best Buy to pop a few files onto a USB drive. Maria to pre-birthday lunch (sister turned 50 on Thursday). Assemble all UVU Fall 2014 documents, write syllabus for 3 classes, send all material to copy center at UVU. Attempt to watch a Netflix movie on 10 month old TV. Can't. Call Netflix support. Fixed. I tell Scott I need a day-off, will take Wednesday off. Rain.
Wednesday - Work out-  can't run, rain. Meetings (virtual), waiting on new computer. Netflix not working. Call Netflix support, Costco warranty support, Vizio support. Trouble shoot for 3 hours. Determine it's the TV. Waiting on repair services. Weed yard and add lights to yard for David Lopez's wedding dinner on Friday night. Rain.
Thursday - Hair trim, pick up copies at UVU, sun, but not enough to swim with grandbabies one last time. Walk up Rock Canyon. Listen to Tempest talk about Indians and Star Wars. Pick up new computer. Lose all Microsoft Office files, including e-mails. Work for 2 hours with BB dude to reconfigure. Chaplain meeting - incredible visit with beautiful people. Buy groceries at 10pm.
FriSday - Work out - sprints, again. Work on setting up computer. Find all files except for Adobe Suite. Hurray. TV to be fixed on Wednesday. David's dinner here tonight. Sun is shining. Too cold to go swimming. What's with the August weather?

Now why am I high-fiving? I did this ALL without a Diet Pepsi - not a single one. Wahoo! Accomplished all of this without a single harsh word or loud voice between Scott and me (well, one, but an apology). And - we've had a guest with us (and his girlfriend and her friends during the day and evening). I am so proud of myself!

Off to sit down and read until 5pm, when preparations for David's dinner get under way.

I. can. do. hard. things. weeks. 


Spoke too soon - all day with online GeekSquad help. Finally dropped the computer off at 4:55pm. Wedding dinner was beautiful, began raining right before dessert. Computer ready tomorrow - promise!