Happy Anniversary - 19 Years -

                                         

Mouthful of Forevers

I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at
with a mouthful of forevers. We
have both known loss like the sharp edges
of a knife. We have both lived with lips
more scar tissue than skin. Our love came
unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we’d given up
on asking love to come. I think
that has to be part
of its miracle.
This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You
will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms
will bandage and we will press promises
between us like flowers in a book.
I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat
on your skin. I will write novels to the scar
of your nose. I will write a dictionary
of all the words I have used trying
to describe the way it feels to have finally,
finally found you.

And I will not be afraid
of your scars.

I know sometimes
it’s still hard to let me see you
in all your cracked perfection,
but please know:
whether it’s the days you burn
more brilliant than the sun
or the nights you collapse into my lap
your body broken into a thousand questions,
you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.

Clementine von Radics, “Mouthful of Forevers”

 Oh how I love this piece - 

Valentine for Ernest Mann

Naomi Shihab Nye - 1952-

You can’t order a poem like you order a taco.
Walk up to the counter, say, “I’ll take two”
and expect it to be handed back to you
on a shiny plate.

Still, I like your spirit.
Anyone who says, “Here’s my address,
write me a poem,” deserves something in reply.
So I’ll tell a secret instead:
poems hide. In the bottoms of our shoes,
they are sleeping. They are the shadows
drifting across our ceilings the moment 
before we wake up. What we have to do
is live in a way that lets us find them.

Once I knew a man who gave his wife
two skunks for a valentine.
He couldn’t understand why she was crying.
“I thought they had such beautiful eyes.”
And he was serious. He was a serious man
who lived in a serious way. Nothing was ugly
just because the world said so. He really
liked those skunks. So, he re-invented them
as valentines and they became beautiful.
At least, to him. And the poems that had been hiding
in the eyes of skunks for centuries 
crawled out and curled up at his feet.

Maybe if we re-invent whatever our lives give us
we find poems. Check your garage, the odd sock
in your drawer, the person you almost like, but not quite.
And let me know.

Happy Valentine's Day!

 

Deconstructring faith - doesn't necessarily mean Deconverting -

This article: Five Real Reasons Young People are Deconstructing Their Faith, has me Amen'ing over and over again. 

Key points: 

Deconstruction doesn't mean deconversion - perhaps this is called critical thinking? 

The "Church" as a whole, claims to hold itself to a high moral standard, so failures will always bleed up to the leaders. 

"We live in a diverse, accessible, and mobile world." We have opportunities to befriend and learn about cultures, lifestyles, religions that were never available even 25 years ago. So many more perspectives, so many varying ways to see life. "Relational proximity" no longer has the impact that it did. 

"It's much easier to remain certain of your beliefs when you are not in personal contact with people who believe differently." And yet, most Christian churches are evangelical - how do you convert when you don't know whom you are converting? 

When a popular Christian deconstructs their faith, they get media's attention. How many every day folks are doing similar? 

This book, Church Refugees, should be read by those in ministry. Written by sociologists, it also very much reflects my personal perspective - the purpose of any culture/community is to entertain, educate, social control, and reinforce the values of that community. When the Church fails to do so, or is deconstructed, doers deconstruct. 

Many of those deconstructing sought out ways to remain active members of their faith groups, yet when undervalued or overinvolved, existential burnout happened; referred to as the burn-out generation. While these people are not leaving their faith, they may review their involvement and need to be involved, in their church. 

Those deconstructing, when shared publicly, can "self-censor for fear of being labeled 'divisive,' or they leave and find community elsewhere." 

Going deep should be embraced! Healthy communities have space for difficult conversations without the conversations or people being discounted or dismissed. Leaders who question rather than always have the answers are good leaders. 

If every faith is expected to think, talk, believe exactly the same, have we not created a culture of conformity? What about unity? Even inclusivity excludes. 

There will always be difference of opinions - that's good, that's healthy, that's how we learn to be critical thinkers and how to use those critical thinking skills, without putting the "other" down. 

Do you seek for discernment or fall down the rabbit-hole of misinformation because it came from someone in your congregation or church? 

"The biggest argument against deconstruction is deconstruction itself. There's no limit to how far you can go. And you can easily come out the other side a lonely and bitter person with no hope to offer the world or yourself." Or - you can stay in blind faith and belong to a group of bitter people who enjoy felicitating themselves. 

There is a need, when deconstructing, to reconstruct. Get on A Path, any path, rather than soak in your deconstruction tub. There are many ways to follow your Higher Power. 

And to church leaders - do not discount, minimize, or dismiss anyone's deconstruction. Seek to understand. Deconstruction often begins with the community, not the faith. Where it ends - may be determined not only by the person's discoveries, but how open and humble and available leaders of faith groups are. 

Everyone needs a safe space to question and discover answers. If you have raised a child to think for themselves, to learn for themselves, to experience something themselves, then best capable for doing the same and allowing others to do similarly. You may find a well rich with natural water. Rather than a shallow mud puddle.