My 56th year was a study in feet (55th was a study of bald heads and boobs). I've been places, relaxed, and even have the photos to prove it!
My 57th year (yikes - where does time go), perhaps a study in hands, or knees, or smiles. Regardless, getting comfortable with being in front of the camera, one body part at a time.
Here's to another year - and 55 - you were dang good to me.
So many sermons focus on the "Prodigal" son's actions - his leaving home, taking his inheritance, partying, losing, ending up in the pig sty begging to eat the same food he was feeding the pigs. However, I chose to not focus on that, rather to focus on the returning of the son - returning, humbled, to his home. Here's today's sermon:
Prodigal Son
Luke 15: 11-24
“Seven Things You’ll Never Hear Your Dad Say”:
7. I notice all your friends have a hostile
attitude–I like that! 6. Well now that you’re 13, Princess, I want you
to start dating older guys. 5. No son of mine is going to live under this
roof without an earring! 4. Why do you want to get a job? I’ve got plenty
of money for you to spend! 3. Your mother and I are going away for the
weekend–you might want to consider throwing a party. 2. Here’s my credit card and the keys to my
car–now, GO CRAZY! 1. Well, looks like I’m lost–I guess I’ll have
to stop and ask for directions!
One thing you’ll never hear your Heavenly Father
say is, “If you walk away from Me; you can never come back.” Instead, God is a
loving Heavenly Father. He loves you so much, you are free to walk out of
fellowship with Him–He won’t stop you. He will run to meet you more than
halfway if you decide to return to Him. And He says when you repent; He will treat
you as if you never left. There is a Biblical parable (universal in its
telling, but I will be using the Bible version here), often titled the Prodigal
Son. Do you know this story?
Well, prodigals still exist. These individuals
rebel, stepping away from God’s blessings, indulging in reckless living and
ruining their lives. But God runs to meet those who are at the point of total
desperation and who are willing to repent and return home.
Today, we are going to back up and look at the
parable again–but this time we’re going to look at what it took for the Son to
go home.
What a great story! In just a few short words, Jesus shows us the
selfishness and sinfulness of a rebellious son. Charles Dickens once wrote
about this parable, “The Prodigal Son is the finest short story ever written.”
It’s a story that touches all of us at different
points. Some are the parents of Prodigals and are feeling the pain of the
father. Others are like the son who has wandered away from fellowship with the
father. Still, others are like the older brother.
In this message, we’ll examine the steps of the
rebellious son that will take him back home.
There is an immutable law of God that says you
reap what you sow.Galatians 6:7says, “Don’t be misled:
No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he WILL harvest.”
Through the years, I’ve known hundreds of
Prodigals. They are teenagers and adults who had a loving relationship with
God, but they allowed restlessness, and reckless living to enter their lives.
They walked away from God’s blessings and they end up a mess. Some of them are
still there, others have come back home.
That’s the good news: you can come back home.
You don’t have to wait until you reach the pig pen either. At any time, you can
decide to return to the blessing and fellowship with your Heavenly Father.
Here’s how.
STEPS TO RETURN HOME TO GOD
If you have wandered away from God and allowed
sin to take control of your life, it’s not hopeless.
Over 200 years ago, the hymn writer, Robert
Robinson spoke for all of us when he wrote: “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it;
prone to leave the God I love. Here’s my heart, Lord, take and seal it, seal it
for thy courts above.”
The son took three specific steps to return to
his father and these are the same three steps you need to take to return to
your heavenly Father.
1. The first step is to Realize!
The son, “Came to his senses.” This is the
turning point of the parable. Before you can return to God, you must first
realize you are in a mess without Him. Let’s climb down in the pig pen with our
boy for a minute. There’s our boy–covered with the slimy mud and mess of the
pig pen. He is so hungry he is tempted to eat the pig food, but he can’t even
eat, because the owner of the pigs won’t allow it. He is being treated worse
than the pigs. Finally, when he is about as low as you can get, a light bulb
comes on in his head. “Click!” Suddenly he looks around and sees himself
for who he really is. He looks down and is repulsed by his own filth and dirt.
Sin had blinded his eyes, but once the light bulb of realization came on, he
could see his life was a real mess. He reached the Point of Total Desperation.
He says, “I don’t belong here. I’m made for something better than this. I’m
tired of drinking, drugging, partying, running; I’m tired of slop; I’m tired of
these chains. I want to go home. I want to see my daddy. I miss my mamma’s
food. I want to go home.”
God meets people when they realize they are at
the Point of Total Desperation. Before he reached this Point of Total
Desperation, the son was proud. His attitude was: “I’ll never go crawling back
to my dad and admit I was wrong. I’d sooner die in this pig pen than admit I
was wrong.” When you get to the Point of Total Desperation, you stop denying
your problem, and you get humble in a hurry.
The only way you can approach God is in
humility. In Psalm 51:17we read, “A broken and
contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”
Let me ask you: Has the light bulb to come on in
your mind?
2. The second step on the road back home is
Repent!
After he realized the shame of his situation,
the next thing the prodigal son said was, “I have sinned.” He admitted his
rebellion was a sin against God. AA Step 1! That’s what the Bible calls
confession. Step 5: confession and repentance are two sides of the same coin.
Confession always precedes repentance. When you confess your sin you aren’t
notifying God of what you have done – He knows. Confession occurs when you agree
with God about your behavior, and at the same time you display a measure of
remorse and regret.
Next, he was willing to confess to his father he
was wrong, Step 8. All sin must be confessed to God, and some sin is against
another person and must be confessed to that person. AA teaches the circle of
confession should be as large as the circle of the sin.
Do you see the change? At the
beginning of the story, he was saying, “Give me, give me, give me. Give me my
inheritance, give me my freedom.” After repenting he was saying, “Make me, make
me as one of your hired servants.” That’s what real repentance is.
But true change is not just admitting you are in
the pig pen, it means leaving the pig pen. Change involves more than just feeling
regret or remorse over your sin, it is being willing to walk away from your sin
and walk back toward God. Doing the 12 Steps means changing your mind about
your behavior and then being willing to change your behavior.
Jesus doesn’t condemn sin, but He demands
repentance. Are you willing to admit to God your life is a mess? Are you
willing to walk away from your sin? Then you are ready for the final step back
to God.
3. Lastly, the son had to Return!
After he came to his senses, and admitted his wrongs,
he was ready for the final step – Steps 9, 11, 12. He said, “I will go back.”
Two of the most powerful words in the human language are, “I will.” It was by
an act of his will he decided to demand his inheritance to run away from home,
and it was by an act of his will he decided to get out of pig sty and head back
home. He didn’t say, “I’m going to send a letter to my dad to come get me.” He
knew, he and he alone, could walk out of the mess and back toward his home.
Can you picture him? He was prancing and
strutting when he left home, but now he was weak, thin, dirty, and humbled. The
trip home took a lot longer than the trip away from home. But he had one
thought in mind–his home, his father. I can imagine him limping along down a
dusty road singing, “I’ve wandered far away from God; now I’m coming home.
The paths of sin, too long I’ve trod; now Lord, I’m coming home. I’ve wasted
many precious years; now I’m coming home; I now repent with bitter tears; Lord,
I’m coming home. Coming home; coming home; never more to roam; Open wide your
arms of love, Lord, I’m coming home.”
And that’s what he found when he got home. His
dad came running (This is the only place in Biblical scriptures that shows God running - can you imagine the excitement the Father felt at seeing His son? So much so that He ran to meet the son.) down the road and he opened wide his arms of love and
hugged and kissed him. He put a robe on his back, a ring on his finger, and
shoes on his feet. He killed the fatted calf and they began to celebrate.
Is that what you need to do today? Do
you need to come home? You may be a child of God who’s wandered for years–it’s
time to return home. Are you tired of wandering? Are you weary and tired of
being weary and tired? Jesus said, “Come unto me all of you who are weary and
burdened and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) Will you
come home today?
A life-line is has been thrown your way.The life-line has been thrown your way because you
matter to God, to your family, to your community, because you are of value,
valuable, and because you can change your life. My God, my father, is saying,
“I love you I want you to return home.” In Joel 2:13 we read, “Rend your heart not
your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and
compassionate.”
Scott and I got hooked on the TV series (well, Netflix), "Blue Bloods" during the Christmas holidays. I like the show - I like Tom Selleck (Frank, the NYPD commissioner) in this show; in fact the entire cast is pretty darn good (check out Dino [NY Police Chief], John Ventimiglia). Last night we were watching Season 4, Episode 12 - it's where Danny's (Frank's son) best childhood friend moves back to New York, they reconnect, and decide they'll stay in touch. However, Danny (NYPD Detective) finds out this friend works for a big mob in Florida and is in NY setting up the mob family there. So Danny is assigned to set this friend up, to flush out the mob family before they get their base in NY. Danny does, and his friend is pissed at Danny, and the mob family hires some guys to kill this friend, and Danny saves him.
OK, typical NYPD show scene. But there is where I had this little "ahaa" moment:
Danny's friend says, "So I guess I'm going to have to testify, or lose my life."
Danny says, "Yup. Looks that way. But after the trial, we will set you and your family up in our witness protection program."
Friend, "Oh great, my children won't be able to carry on my name, we'll start all over again, and they will not have the family we have here. My wife won't even be able to care for her dying mother."
Danny, "That's right, you'll have to start all over again, but at least you will now be alive to do that."
Friend, "Looks like I don't have much of a choice."
I paused the show. This is the first time I've heard my thoughts on cancer spoken so clearly and profoundly.
Doctors, "You have cancer."
Me, "Ok. What does that mean?"
Doctors, "You can have traditional cancer treatments and live, or you can come back to us after you've tried the other treatments, and we'll hope for the best."
Me, "Oh great, my life as I know it will end. Everything will change, and I don't even know what that means. I have to take that risk?"
Doctors, "You're life will change, you'll have to start all over again, but at least you will be alive to do that."
Me, "Looks like I don't have much of a choice."
I didn't get the witness protection plan; I am healing with my family surrounding me, but in many ways, I have so substantially changed that I wonder if perhaps the witness protection plan would have been an easier way to make that change.
Food for thought this Sabbath morning - change, change, change - I need to stop looking for "normal."
Freakin' crazy around here with the beginning of Spring 2015 semester at UVU (why is it called spring semester?), 2 groups and Sunday sermon at Cirque, and volunteering plus working at UVRMC as a chaplain. Oh, and yes, having the library and living room repainted, which means removing and moving. Oh happy day when this week is finished.
On the other hand, sermon for Sunday was on Vulnerability and Spirituality. While similar to the week's conversation about vulnerability and intimacy, this takes the topic a little deeper - intimacy with one's Higher Power.
Once when I was feeling particularly
stressed and overwhelmed, my sister said to me, “Just fall back and let the
universe catch you.”
When she said that, a feeling of
peace washed over me. How lovely it would be to simply let go and feel
completely safe, knowing that everything would be OK. That I was OK. The
thought gave me a few moments of respite from my worries. I was free from the
pain and pretense of trying to control everything.
Imagine if you heard those words
from someone you love — “Just fall back and let me catch you. Just fall back
and tell me everything. Just fall back and be yourself, flaws and all. I will
still love you. I will be there for you.”
Imagine the peace of not holding it
all in, of being completely authentic and open, sharing your most intimate
dreams and fears, perfectly secure in the knowledge you won’t be ridiculed or
rejected. Instead you’ll be embraced.
Imagine being completely vulnerable
and exposed, and rather than it pushing someone away, it brings you closer
together.
Unfortunately, most of us have been
trained from a very early age not to be vulnerable. We’ve learned the painful lesson
of opening our hearts, telling our truths, and showing our frailties, only to
have our hearts broken and our weaknesses disparaged. We’ve learned to hold
back, to pretend to be someone else, to protect our hearts.
We’ve learned that the best defense
against pain is a good offense. So we build brick walls. We hold ourselves at
arm’s length. We offer the smiling, jolly facade lest others think we aren’t
pulled together and perfect.
Of course it’s exhausting and
stressful maintaining this pretense. It takes a lot of energy to be something
you’re not. It does protect you from emotional pain in the short term. But in
the long run it wreaks havoc on your close relationships. Without being
vulnerable, spirituality will wither and die, like a flower that never develops
deep roots.
There can be no intimacy –
emotional, physical, or spiritual, without vulnerability. One of the reasons
there is such a spiritual deficit today is because we don’t know how to be
vulnerable – open to the unknown, the undocumented, the unseen – we can’t be
open with our hearts, only with our minds. Vulnerability is about being honest
with how we feel, about our fears, about what we need, and asking for what we
need. Yet – we are often afraid to ask, let alone feel like we deserve, answers
from our Higher Power. For some reason we cannot be vulnerable with that Higher
Power. Yet vulnerability is the glue that keeps us humble and connected to our
Higher Power.
Brene Brown, Embracing Vulnerability
Vulnerability
directly affects our levels of spirituality. As we work the steps, we are
really asked to create a relationship with our Higher Power, and this isn’t on
a “Hey, how you doin’” and walk on by, but a first-name basis. Vulnerability
precedes spiritual growth.
When
you are vulnerable enough to open yourself up to share you – what are you
looking for?
Brene Brown said
this is a person who loves you not despite your vulnerability, but because of
it. She calls this a “move-the-body friend,” someone who is going to show up
and wade through the deep with them.
And
this can be your Higher Power. He/she/it is endless, timeless, never ceasing,
always available. Sometimes we steam-roll over our Higher Power, to get to
those who we are trying to please or fool ourselves, to them. So why not give
your Higher Power a try? “You share with people who have earned the right to
hear your story.” (Brown) “Are you casting your pearls before swine,” rather
than choosing your Higher Power as the one to share your story with?
Show
up and be seen. Ask for what you need. Talk about how you’re feeling. Have the
heart-to-heart conversation. When we ask for assistance, help, out of our
vulnerability, we are humbled, and then, then, then we are open to answers. We
then have the confidence to be ourselves, and in turn, open to receiving the
assistance.
Sometimes
the answer is this, “I can’t fix it, but I can walk through the storm with
you.”
1.Vulnerability
reveals reality
a.You
can be yourself the good, bad, and ugly. There is beauty in being known so
completely.
2.Vulnerability
fosters trust
a.The
more you let go, the more you can receive. If your hands are full of control,
there is no room for trust, promptings. When you are secure in your
relationship, you have peace, and in having peace you have security, and in the
secure place you are capable of letting go.
b.Do
I really hear God’s voice, or is it my own? Don’t be afraid if you’re hearing Gods voice or if it
is your own! You have to trust that when you have told God about your thoughts,
and the way is open, go! Don’t stand there and struggle with the doors that is
closed. Don’t give more attention to those that stands in the way. Walk through
the crowd or take another way!
c.“Why
Trust Is Worth It”
3.Vulnerability
invites growth
a.The
more you give, the more you receive, and the more you grow. When you are in a
safe place to honestly reflect on your true self and on your true needs, you
can assess any changes that you need to make, without taking a blow to your
self-esteem. You can be honest with yourself, which in turn enables you to live
authentically, opening doors to your potential. (Prompting in Park City)
4.Vulnerability
builds confidence
a.As
you practice expressing your feelings, your concerns, and admitting your faults
and weaknesses, you become stronger. You can stand true to your truth.
5.Vulnerability
heals wounds
a.Yes!
Vulnerability doesn’t make wounds, open wounds, but heals wounds. Healing
begins with acknowledgment, then acceptance, then awareness. When you
acknowledge your pain or fear, rather than running from it or hiding from it,
you allow the light of truth into your healing process.
b.We
need to be able to accept constructive criticism from those with whom we’re
vulnerable. Are you ready?
6.Vulnerability
creates bonds
a.Do
you have areas that you fear rejection or retaliation if you share with
another? Here you have a quiet partner, someone who has already told you that
you won’t be rejected, and in that sharing, in that connecting, intimacy is forged.
b.Sharing
with one another is what is taught in the Bible.
c.James 5:16,
we read, “Confess your sins to one
another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed.”
7.Vulnerability
deepens love
a.Being
vulnerable means being able to express your deepest feelings. You can become
completely open, emotionally, physically, mentally, and know that your sharing
creates openness between you and your Higher Power.
b.“Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly
broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no
one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little
luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of
your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will
change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable,
irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” CS Lewis
8.Vulnerability
makes us more attractive
a.Nothing
is more attractive than authenticity. By being fully yourself, and confidently
expressing your good and bad qualities, you begin to feel safe and confident.
b.“I
Trust You”
9.Vulnerability
teaches us to be comfortable with uncertainty
a.We
learn how to have faith. We learn that we aren’t in control, and that’s OK.
Uncertainty can be our middle name, because we know our Higher Power has our
back.
10.Vulnerability
teaches us how to be humble
a.All
games are tossed to the side, all our facades are broken down, and we are us,
in our nakedness, in our authentic self. And we are not ashamed.
b.There’s no way to have a real relationship without becoming
vulnerable to hurt. Whom better to begin
this process than with your Higher Power?
11.Vulnerability
teaches us that life is precious
a.Life
is precious. Not because it is unchangeable, like a diamond, but because it is
vulnerable, like a little bird. To love life means to love its vulnerability,
asking for care, attention, guidance, and support. Life and death are connected
by vulnerability. The newborn child and the dying elder both remind us of the
preciousness of our lives.
b.“Hugs”
(I trust you, do you trust me)
“I hope that in this year to come, you make
mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things,
trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself,
changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more
importantly, you're doing something. So that's my wish for you, and all of
us, and my wish for myself. Make new mistakes. Make glorious, amazing
mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop,
don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is:
art, or love, or work or family or life. Whatever it is you're scared of
doing, do it. Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”
Neil
Gaiman (born 1960);
Author, Producer, Storyteller (Coraline)
Song:
“Trust” Kristine Mueller
Affirmation:
Brene Brown reminds,
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives
running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as
dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us
the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will
we discover the infinite power of our light.”
I’d like to
chat with you about vulnerability. Usually when we hear about being vulnerable
we hear/see it in a negative fashion – someone naked standing in the cold,
swimming in the ocean surrounded by sharks, perhaps down to your last penny,
with nowhere to go, no one to turn to. Perhaps you have been in vulnerable
positions – and these places hurt. These are scary places to be, and we don’t
want to be in those situations where we are that vulnerable, that exposed to
the unknown or the uncomfortable. We see being vulnerable as being weak – “Be
strong, don’t be weak.” We marginalize vulnerability – it’s a weakness.
Particularly for men. Not that we know better, but that we don’t know better.
What does vulnerability ask of us? However, vulnerability is the admission
price for intimacy.
Brene Brown, "The Price of Invulnerability"
Honoring and Working with Male Vulnerability
Intimacy
requires vulnerability? I say, vulnerability strengthens intimacy (into me see).
I want to
suggest that we look at vulnerability as a strength. Why? Because when we’re
vulnerable, when we expose our weakest points, share our fears, or our hopes
and dreams, the level of intimacy rises at the same amount as our level of
vulnerability. Of course, we have to know how to be intimate with ourselves
(see this as being brutally honest with ourselves) before we can be intimate
with someone else. And we search outside of ourselves to find that intimacy –
and we shut down, because we can’t find it outside of ourselves. Yet to feel
truly loved we need to let others (beginning with ourselves) who we really are
inside.
Now I’m not
suggesting that we bare our souls to the first person we come in contact with!
Or to share everything, with everyone, all the time. We need places where we
can safely heal – these are called boundaries and defenses. And as we heal and
soften and loosen, we can shed those boundaries and defense – and we can make
that conscious decision to become vulnerable, to shed our defenses and broaden
our boundaries.
So then,
trust, comes into place. Who do we trust, how much can we trust, who do we
trust with what, and biggest – HOW do we trust? And more than that, how do we trust ourselves? How do we be vulnerable to ourselves, become intimate with ourselves?
Being
vulnerable is often the easiest with strangers or when we are in intense situations
– not with our own, not in our own space. Why?
When we are
free from the need to judge or condemn, we then can share with those
we trust; we develop trust – in ourselves and in others, which in turn
strengthens our bonds with each other. When I tell you my story of divorce, of
cancer, of my long journey to a college degree – when I share with you my
weaknesses, my triggers, we begin to see similarities in our lives; it’s no
longer you and me. We see that we have similar stories, we begin to draw
connections between us, and we are no longer the other but “we,” and that is
when we can travel together. If I can trust myself to share, and I can trust
that you will carry my sharing gently, then you and I have a bond, and gentle
reciprocity develops, trust strengthens, and being vulnerable is no longer a
weakness – it may be a risk, but most likely taking that risk is worth the
risk. When I trust you trusting my story, then I can be free to be my imperfect
self – and I know you can be my support. And help comes in being willing to
admit I need help.
Have
you ever worn the “freak flag”? You know – the physical sign that says you are
not in control of your life, that your life is going in a direction you don’t
want it to be going, that not all is well? What if we could all wear a sign that said what WE REALLY
MEANT? What if we could go straight past the small talk or the masks, and we
could actually go straight to the heart of the matter. What if our friends and
family wore signs like this?
…we would treat each other differently.
I think
we should just try to imagine it. That when a friend is quiet…or not showing up
to stuff she usually shows up to, or acting a little “off”, or a family member
is wearing pajamas to the grocery store for weeks on end, or not answering the
phone, or the lawn is not mowed…
whatever it is…
IT IS A SIGN. It is not a sign that can be read in words and letters, but it is a sign
that someone needs to be treated gently. That they need help. Most of all, that
they need love, understanding, and that they DEFINITELY DO NOT need to be
judged.
It’s amazing
how people open up, themselves, when you choose to trust and be vulnerable;
when you show them that you do not want/need a superficial interaction with
them. We highlight ourselves without fear of being judged. Try it, try it once,
and see what it does to your relationship.
As
important as it is to tell our stories, let’s learn to listen, and let’s be
gentle with each other, let’s learn how to read each other’s stories. (Melody
Ross)
“Live your life from your heart. Share from
your heart. And your story will touch and heal people's souls.” (Melody Beattie)
Do you wear a Coat of Arms to share or carry a Shield to protect? What do you want to
share/hide with/from others?
I've been pretty wrapped up in myself for a few years - and rightly so, and I won't apologize for it. But I'm as tired of my being self-centered as my husband is! This year I'm healthy enough to reach out - in healthy ways - which is what I'm continuing to learn. Maintaining a healthy me includes surrounding myself with healthy people, or having enough healthy energy that I can give without emptying myself. In order to give, I have to be aware of what I have.
Here's a good evaluation (without points to tally); how well do you know yourself?
SELF AWARENESS EXERCISE
1.Five adjectives that describe meare
...
2.Other people would describe meas ...
3.Friends who have known me for yearssay ...
4.The issues and causes that get me stirred upare ...
5.As I've grown older, I've changed in that...
6.If I could have a perfect week, if wouldbe ...
7.The way I prefer to dressis ...
8.The way I look has changed over the years in that ...
9.My voice ...
10.In a group I usually...
11.Things I find funnyare ...
12.If I could have anything in the world, it wouldbe ...
13.If I could give any one thing in the world, to any person in
the world, I wouldgiveto because ...
14.Spiritually, I think of myselfas ...
15.The most important values I base my life onare ...
16.If I could give one thing to the world
it wouldbe ...
