Fear, Hope, Change - Moving Forward -

This year has been overflowing with new and awkward and scary and unpredictable. I'll be first to say that this year's disasters jumped onto my back with my eyes wide open yet totally unaware. Taken by surprise, but not.

Interesting that just prior to leaving for Hawaii Scott headed to the grocery store to stock up on cleaners, disinfectants, Lysol wipes, alcohol and hydrogen peroxide, and water. Really a "just in case" reaction, not out of fear or even preparation.

Arriving at the airport as we headed to Hawaii, we were prepared with hand sanitizer, wipes for our seats and trays. As a precaution only.

And then as I hurt my foot, my mind was not on CoVid but cancelling our trip to Portugal, and then a day later, CoVid.

We came home from Hawaii to a world of social-distancing, quarantine'ing, and went from knowns to unknowns without notice. Interesting how this happened so quickly, and the world changed in a matter of days. My world, your world, everyone's world. 

I even have a half a blog post written about my amazing Hawaii time, and yet I can't get myself to finish it.
 
Yet as the hyper-awareness surrounded me, as well as my desire to go into this time documenting every moment, there is still this sense of what is new, what is temporary, what is normal, and how flexible do we need to be?

I mean - we can't travel internationally, but would a trip to Mt. Rushmore be ok?

We have our food storage and are preparing for something - disaster, economic failure, no access to supplies, yet we also bought a new dining room table and chairs - from needs to wants in a blink of the eye.

We weed the garden, paint the wall, rebuild the old car, all with eyes looking forward. When I hear folks talk about "returning" to normal, I full well know we can't "go back" or "return." That's an impossibility, but I also hear folks talking about the future in such disastrous terms, that I think, "This is why we want to return - to the known."

I've written so many times about returning to - and of course, that's impossible, but even when the unknown may be so much more, it is scary and we cling to the known, even when it's uncomfortable.

So here we are, talking about returning, when all we can do is move ahead. How about talking about forwarding? In a world of unknowns, where we've all been affected by the repercussions of this virus and so many other politically motivated actions, what does tomorrow look like? You're in charge - what do you want to bring with you? What do you want to leave? Where is hope in your vision?

What matters to you? What do you have a stake in? 

I recently hung this banner on my front window. As awkward and uncomfortable as change is, we do or die, freeze or fight or flight, or move forward - pensively, hopefully, cautiously, blindly, or eyes wide open, ready to reach, grasp, do, take the step or be - all are choices and movement. 

Your choice; My choice.