Gathering My Thoughts -

I began my social media sabbatical mid-February; I've been off Facebook and Instagram since then. I'm going on a FolkladysAdventure for the next little while, so I'll sign off here, leaving a few thoughts I've gathered this past few months.

Until . . .

Pathological Optimist -

I visited with a spouse of a patient who recently passed away. He was busy working on finalizing a book, talking about what his hopes are for that - Intentional Grandparenting. He shared with me his Mother's day experience for the first MD since his wife had passed: he went through his wife's jewelry, sorted through pieces, then hand-selected broaches and bracelets and necklaces for each daughter and grand-daughter. He put them in bags with a bow, and gave them to each person on Saturday. When they got together on Sunday, all of the children had these pieces on. He said he was so grateful he had decided to do this.

He talked about his wife's death and how beautiful it was, how grateful he was for his daughters and their help, and how much he missed her, but he knew she was enjoying her time in heaven with her family. 

I asked him about his outlook, looking forward, moving forward. And he said, "I'm a pathological optimist." I thought about a patient last week who asked, "What's wrong with being Pollyanna'ish? I think we give her a bum rap - there's nothing wrong with always looking for the silver lining." Another friend said, "I am skeptically optimistic." 

What's the difference between the three? And where do I fit in this continuum? Is optimism a healthy attribute? 

I do try to look for the best in others, even those who are not necessarily the best. And yet, I'm cautious - not showing all my cards until I can trust (and even then I'm hesitant). I am hopeful when I move into a project, cautious in determining what my role is, who the bosses are going to be, who the players are, and if the project is even real. I'm definitely not Pollyanna in my thinking. Life isn't full of sunshine and lollipops - I've had enough life experiences to know that some days are just cloudy, and tomorrow may be as well. 

So if I have to define myself and my optimistic outlook - I think I'd say I'm realistically optimistic, or critically thinking optimistic. I've learned to see inside, between, around, through people, events, projects, look for what can happen, what might happen, what should happen, and the time involved in building relationships and projects, and then decide if they are even worth my time. 

And you? 

What Makes You Come Alive?

I've been thinking about this question for quite some time - and I have a variety of answers:

A project that pushes me
A philosophical conversation
Critical thinking
Good acoustic music
Indian food
Belgium pastries
A warm blanket
Teaching a class of students who aren't afraid to ask questions
Visiting with a patient
Smell of a humid cool morning
Sitting in a car warmed by the sun
Discovery
Cuddling with a grandchild or Scott
A walk through a nursery

And this past few months I've been blessed to experience all of these. Being aware of this question has, to a large degree, made my recognition of these moments for what they are - moments of living, and - living in that moment.

This Tedx talk by Peter Breinholt presents some great thoughts and some great questions.

• What do you think about when you don't have to think about anything else? 
• What is your passion? 
• What makes you come alive? 

Did you ever play Hide and Go Seek? Was this your phrase? When was the last time you said this to yourself?

Dead man, dead man come alive

Before I count to the number five

One, two, three, four, five

Come alive! 

May is for Mindfulness -

With so much planned for this month, I am going to set my intent on "Being Here Now," and making sure Mindfulness is a focus for May.

RandomActsofKindness.org and Passiton.com  are both sites I visit regularly for breathing and inspiration moments.

May's calendar is filled with suggestions for focusing on awareness, presentism, smelling the roses. Practice along with me?

70 - Happy Birthday Mr. Weaver -

It's my husband's birthday! He is incredible, and he is 70! When I asked him if life was as he had expected, his reply hit me hard. "I never thought I would see 70, not even 60. I was drinking, smoking, messing with women, angry, and I believed, 'eat, sleep, and be merry, for tomorrow I may die.'" "And I'm happier today than I've ever been. More alive today than ever."

I love this man. Happy Birthday, Mr. Weaver!