Two years ago this week (10/11/12) I began chemotherapy. In many ways it seems like just yesterday - and in many ways it was in a past life. And since I'm a believer in reincarnation - even in my short 55 years I've lived many lives, I'm going with these two trajectories - because I have certainly evolved from two years ago, and I am not the same person I was yesterday.
So here's the deal - if I believe in reincarnation, then I must believe in time-travel. And here's what I want to do - I want to take the me of today back in time to visit the me of two years ago. This is what I am going to say to her:
Cancer. Shit. Damn. Sunny beaches. I am so sorry you have this diagnosis - so very, very sorry. Life will not be easy, in fact, life as you have known it will no longer exist, ever, ever again. I'm afraid you're pretty unprepared for this journey, but I don't know how you could be prepared. Kind of like being pregnant for the first time and giving birth, although you probably know many more people who have given birth than who have had cancer. So - go with the bliss you do understand - puking, bald, susceptible to all types of germs, achey body. But let me tell you - cancer and its treatment is horrible. I've been honest this entire blog, and I won't stop now. There is so much more to cancer than just losing your hair. So honey, hold onto yourself, and hang on tight to anyone, because this ride is not going to be pretty. Be awake and aware, live in the moment. Be afraid, but don't give up hope. Your support system is amazing, and you are more than blessed to be surrounded by people who love you. This journey is for them as well - cancer is not just for the person burdened with it, the ripple effects are broad-reaching.
Go forward with Grace and Peace my friend, peace.
PS - you are rockin' that pink hair! And look at you takin' and postin' a selfie! You are doing good things, being brave, stepping out, and that hair - something you would have never even entertained two years ago. Way to reach out!