Friday, December 30, 2016

Catnip, Fatboys, and Orgasms -

Oh my goodness, I'm still laughing, and I'm trying to figure out how to write about this experience without laughing at my patients. Here's my attempt -

Patient with no energy is living a "cat's life" right now.
Asking for clarification - eat, play, sleep, wake-up, eat, play, sleep, repeat.
"Is your morning Ritalin helping with your energy?"
"Well . . ."
"Isn't that what catnip is for cats, Ritalin?"
"Actually I've never understood what catnip does."
"Oh, well, we know. Catnip for a cat is like a fantastic orgasm for humans."
"So when cats are in ecstasy from catnip, they're really having an orgasm?"
"Yes, that's what cat lovers say."
Biting lip to try and quit laughing. "Oh."
"So, how are you feeling?"
Conversation continues on a somewhat normal tone.
"But does Ritalin give you an orgasm?"
"I'm buying catnip on my home from work tonight."
"I didn't know you had a cat."
"I don't. I'm going to give it a try!"
Burst out laughing, then attempt to get serious.
"Two last things. I love . . .  and Fatboys."
Thinking large men here, following the orgasm strain. "Oh?"
"I take one bite and my mouth is just filled with goodness, ecstasy, fireworks, tingling. I feel warm and fuzzy and delighted and good all over. All I need is one bite."
Conversation is now out of control and two people are cracking up laughing while two others are serious.
"So kind of like catnip?"
"Well do whatever makes you happy."
End of conversation - for the most part.

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