Sleep -

How important is a good night's sleep to you?

I swear my mother must have played soft instrumental music and kept the house still when I was a baby. I cannot sleep if there is any noise but white noise in the house.

She also must have made my bedroom as dark as possible. I cannot sleep in a room with light.

In other words, I am a light sleeper. If there are any noises - audible or not, I cannot sleep. And, my mind does not go to sleep either.

So, waking up, to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is awful. I have to pee, and yet I know if I get up, I won't be able to go back to sleep.

My sleep has been horrible'er since cancer. My mind turns on so quickly, and it's impossible to go back to sleep without some form of medication - not meditation, but drugs - whether Aleve, a sleeping pill, or last night, a Nyquil. And I'm the one who teaches mindfulness and sleep habits at my job - and yet they sure as crap don't work for me!

I am such a better person with 8 hours of sleep, and when I don't get that I am terribly unproductive the next day. I wander like a zombie - half in this life, half out.

And - then I married a man who happens to snore, and snore very loudly. Particularly if he has had sugar or milk products within a couple of hours going to bed. I nudge him, then kick him, then push him out of bed (or I leave). One of us ends up sleeping in the other room for the rest of the night, which then is disruptive sleep for both of us.

A friend suggested I try "Calm" prior to going to bed. That's not my problem. I need a "Calm" in the middle of the night; something to calm my mind; something to tell my mind that it's okay to stay asleep.

Darn - I need some Zzzzzzz's.