I've Let Go Of - A Mindful Practice 3 -

I have really tired of carrying around "stuff" that isn't mine to even carry. I've mentioned the "not my BBQ" perspective I've tried to take over the years. This has served me well, particularly when it has come to issues I should not be involved in or get my feathers ruffled in, or get my panties in a bunch over (I'm picking my battles rather than they picking me).

Yet there are plenty of things that still have bothered me, incidents, wrongs, injustices, and right now, a beautiful relationship of a child that's being f'd up because of addiction, and as much as I want to push my opinion, my expectations, my thoughts; it's not mine to carry; I can only send love; this is their story, not mine, not my BBQ.

And I have had to brush away what I cannot control, in order to see the bigger picture, be more realistic, and in true reflection of my INTJ personality, not get involved emotionally, think through what's happening, and then move forward consciously and rationally. Not always easy to do. But it is easy, as I begin to choose what I want to carry and what I want to never pick up.

So I'm learning to let go. Let go of:
Family dinners and what others are doing
Family reunions and what others think should be done
Sibling rivalry
Siblings telling me what I should be doing (and somehow thinking I have to do what they say!)
Climbing some sort of non-existent ladder in the corporate world
Being upset at unfairnesses in my religious organization
Worrying about the big picture at work and the timetable for implementing
And there are plenty more of these.

And in learning to let go, I've found more time for simple pleasure and for simple actions that make more of a difference in my life and the lives around me. I can only own my little piece of the world; I can only be present in the relationships that I have buy-in on and that are engaged with me; I can only request when I am also willing to offer.

I'm finding I'm more protective of the goodnesses in my life and more present to these generosities when I am not worrying, not carrying, not being involved in someone else's BBQ. Because, in all honesty, who really cares what I'm doing for Sunday dinner, what I think about next year's family reunion, or even whether or not I care or have an opinion on nursing mothers in church worship services!

I'll give my energy where I choose, where I think I can make a difference, and send Karma to stand in my place otherwise.

Letting go has allowed me to hang on to the most important people, places, thoughts, in my life.

https://liveanddare.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/let-go-damage-300x300.jpg