Second Chances - Again -

Six years ago this week I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I went through two surgeries, four months of chemo, thirty-three radiation treatments, and a dozen or more “procedures,” and more than eighteen months of recovering from just the visible physical wounds. My life has changed in so many ways – good and bad, yet I am beginning to be grateful for this journey, it has been quite an adventure. Cancer treatments steal life, cost exorbitant  amounts of money and time, mess with relationships, and take years and years to recover from, if one has the luck of recovering.

Cancer has changed my beliefs – strengthened them in so many ways and in ways I’ve left some beliefs behind. Cancer has changed my self-perception, making me more strong and secure and very self-aware and self-conscious.

Cancer killed one Ronda and has brought another to life. Cancer strengthened my marriage, strengthened my resolve to be true to me and my beliefs, and has made me aware I was given life upon life upon life of chances to get mine right.

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day, and she asked me who my God was. And for lack of thinking too deep (because cancer killed my ability to think fast), I said, “My God is a God of second chances.” She looked puzzled, so I replied, “God has given me so many chances to get my act together, to decide what it is I believe in, to be kind to others, to serve, to fix my wrongs, to say I’m sorry, to say I love you, to clean my inner-house, to get rid of regrets, to simplify my life, and to decide how I want to move forward in this life. And my Higher Power has done that again and again throughout my life in so many many ways.” I have had so many chances to begin, again, and I am so blessed.

Pretty powerful blessings in my life. I'm not stuck, or doomed; I am changeable, because life goes on, and opportunities come and go, and I will grow and learn and develop when opportunities, or terrible diagnosis’, come my way.

I am grateful for the good and bad and terrible and tough and beautiful experiences I’ve had in my life – they’ve given me a chance to reevaluate where I’m heading, where I want to go, and how I want to get there.

          Cancer sucks – I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, and I think I’ll always be learning from this second chance.