Voices - When People Don't Like/Get Me -

Yesterday Jenna said, "Mom, sometimes I just don't get you." And I'm thinking, "Yeah, me neither; I don't get myself sometimes." Over the years I've realized I can't be friends with everyone; I can't be liked by everyone. Yet there are times when I stop and think, "Why don't they like me?" And I know there are people I just really can't stand to be around, and I know I don't have to like everyone; I don't have to force myself into getting to know someone, investing the time and energy into learning to like someone. I mean - I've tried for years to learn to like cod, but I still don't, and what's the fuss? So why do I expect myself to like MW, when really, we have little in common, we both have other friends, and just because we're in the same congregation doesn't mean we have to be besties; all we have to do is be kind.

And then yesterday, at a breakfast meeting, LW walked in, said hello to one person at our table, and kept on walking. I thought, "She knows me; I know her, but she ignored me. Why?" Waaaaaa. After our meeting I went to her table, said hi, and she snarkily smiled, said a not-heartwarming hello to me, and that was it. And I wondered what I had done to make her dislike me. Why couldn't she be kind to me like she was to my friend?

This morning, as I was visiting with a client, she wondered why her sister doesn't like her, and why she can't make/get her sister to like her. I gave her the same pep talk I gave myself yesterday -

Just because they're family, colleague, friend of a friend, doesn't mean they have to like you. And just because you're family, colleague, friend of a friend, doesn't mean you have to like them. And ask - is this a relationship that I need or want, what is in it for me, what is in it for them, are they/I worth the energy it will take to create a friendship, and what will the outcome be - friendship, no friendship, besties, frenemies, walk-away and be grateful?

Just because LW doesn't get me, and I don't get MW, doesn't mean anything, anything! My self-worth should not be wrapped up in loading my basket with bundles and bundles of friends for the sake of having friends! I want relationships, and some people are worth knowing, and others, a nod to them, and I'm on my way.

So you don't get me? That's cool; I don't get you either, and I'm not going to worry about it. However, if by chance we pass in the hall and have a moment of connection, awesome, wonderful.

Three

Your job is most definitely NOT to please everyone or to be understood by everyone.

Thirty Two

No matter how many unsupportive people there are in your life right now, remember there is only one voice to truly listen to. That voice lies within you. Everything else is noise.