Defining Moments - 9/11 and More

For several years I asked my students about their memories regarding Sept. 11, 2001. I quit asking about 3 years ago when my college students were youngsters or even babies when the sky exploded.
I asked questions such as:
Do you remember where you were when you heard the news?
Do you remember what you heard?
How did you react?
How did those around you react?
Do you consider this a defining moment in US history?

And this morning, reminiscing about where I was (with my bestie, Shirlene), what I heard (KSL news, then TV), how I reacted - sorrow, fear (LDS missionary son), others reactions - stunned, and defining moment - loss of innocence, I couldn't help but reflect on these same questions in regards to my breast cancer diagnosis, treatment, and years since. It was seven years ago this week that I had surgery and received my definitive treatment diagnosis (Triple Negative).

And do I consider this my defining moment - this diagnosis?

Mostly, one of many moments, and while in recent history the most as I move forward with this me, there have been plenty of others - motherhood, marriage, education, move to Alabama, divorce, remarriage, and numerous awakenings along the way.

Yet I do consider my diagnosis and treatment as my "Loss of Innocence," just as I see this for the US.  I think in this loss comes mixed processes for moving forward -

Hesitancy, yet spontaneity.
Distrust, yet embracing.
Frugality, yet extravagent.
Shy, yet bold.

And more than anything, I appreciate what a tour guide said when someone asked her about the darker elements of Scottish history - "We cannot change the story, all we can do is tell it."

I have learned to embrace my story - not to cover up the divorce or the diagnosis, but to own the disappointments along with the glories; own the awkwardness along with the grace gifted me. Hold on to the grief of loss and celebrate compassion; hesitate and then move forward confidently.

Life events rise and fall; ebb and flow; wax and wane. It's our memories and our actions that add the definition to them.

Today I honor those whose lives were lost, those who saved and cared for others, and those who continue to carry seen and unseen scars and keep on moving forward.