UVU Retirement and What's Next -

I have been rather anxious this past month, and I haven't been able to put my finger on the reason for my anxiety, until rethinking about a conversation I had with a friend a few weeks ago.

She retired about 15 months ago from 25 years of work in the business world - high stress, high stakes, big money, decisions to make, and no stopping. She gave her life to her job, and then just weeks after retirement, with her list of things she wanted to do upon retiring, she was diagnosed with cancer.

Gratefully, a year later her cancer is gone, and she is healing. And she is anxious. And I've suggested she start with her retirement year of "figuring things out" beginning now, rather than thinking she's lost a year to cancer. Factoring cancer in, her assessment year starts now.

I remember feeling similarly when I finished my cancer treatments, in fact, I blew out my elbow and messed up my arms because I was hurrying to make up for that lost year, rather than slowing down and healing.

As I've visited with my friend, and with others who are transitioning from a year of treatment (typical) to healing, I suggest they slow down, let their bodies and minds heal, and not rush getting "back into life." Plans and perspectives change, and rushing into the list of "to do's" "waiting," to take the time to really figure out next steps.

I've been here once before! And after my recent few days of mulling over retirement and cancer and "omming," I remembered that I likewise retired in May from 19 years of teaching - of blending teaching and chaplaining over-time, pulling in extra dollars whenever I could, figuring out how I could be in three places at once, and all the regularities of every day life, whatever that looked like.

I gave myself permission to enjoy the summer without pushing on to "next." And oh goodness, I have certainly done this. Summer has been spectacular, and I'm squeezing out all the summer'ness I can before Autumn officially begins on Sept. 23.

Since UVU started mid-August I've felt a void in my life and the anxiety that I don't have something to do, to take the place of those Tuesday and Thursday evenings that have been full for the past 15 years, is scary. I don't want to just absorb those hours into my daily life, I want to be productive in those hours!

Yet I want to savor these last few days of summer, and I want to be deliberate in my choices moving forward. Be still; be deliberate; take time to heal - good things will come. Factoring in summer, my assessment semester begins now.

Gotta practice what I preach.