Humility -

This past few days I've been called out on 2 of my weak points.

One - while I'm a good listener, I do like to talk, and often when I'm on the defensive, or feel like I should be defending, I interrupt others. As well, when I know time is of the essence, I will push my way through, just to be fast and "cognizant of others time."

I have pushed a few times the past few months, and my excuse is that I've been pushed, and yet I'm fully aware that pushing in reaction to being, just makes for tension. And there has been, on more people than just me.

A colleague called me out, in the name of kindness and need-to-know, and yet though I have been painfully aware all weekend of my actions, I needed to hear this from him, in generosity. Gratefully I'd already made the resolution to listen, and I do get to practice this with the same group tomorrow. Thank heavens for 2nd chances. And 3rd.

I love information, and I appreciate answers, and when I can't get answers to the questions I have, I go searching. I went searching for answers where I shouldn't have, getting them, and I was called on it. And I owned it, without excuses.

In both cases I was humiliated. And I felt sick to my stomach, teary, and weak. As I've thought of these happenings, the hymn "Be Thou Humble," and I knew this was a time I needed to be knocked to my knees, be teachable, and be guided.

Through my years, I've learned the best thing I can do when making mistakes is to accept my err's, to be aware that to err is human, and to use the reproach or critique as a lesson to learn. Otherwise, I do fail.

So my word for this month? Typically it's Gratitude, yet I think I'm going with Humble this year. I'm grateful for those who dare and for those who teach and for being brave and teachable.