Bull in a China Shop - Ode to Women by Steve Wiens -

Sometimes I'm meek, and typically that's because I've been scoffed at - "You're the bull in the china shop," "You're just like the thoroughbred horse at the gate, ready to bust through the gate before the bell rings." "You need to be a little more mild, not so energetic." "Wait, your turn will come." And so I quiet myself, restrain and reduce myself, and wait . . .
About a year ago my son-in-law said to me, "You need to be more deliberate, more bold. Use your energy; don't be afraid of it. Don't be timid any more, you have too much to share to hold back."
And as much as I am grateful for his thoughts, I ease into those words of the past - "Hold back, hold back."
I think there is a happy space here for me. To be deliberate and bold, in my way, which includes waiting and watching and then entering when it's safe or my turn, or not.
This writing touched me; this is where I am right now, nearing my birthday - 61, and realizing that time is of the essence, and if I have something to say or do or be, now is the time.

Enjoy -

An Ode To the Women Who are "Too Much"

"My dad always told me I was a bull in a china shop."

She was looking down at her lap when she said that to me as if trying to shirk a shadow that had

followed her for more than twenty-five years. I paused before I answered.

"Do you think it might be time for a new metaphor?"

When she looked up at me, I realized I was the first person to suggest that she could.

I have had the great pleasure of knowing many women who have been told, over and over again,

that they are "too much." Take it down a few notches, they are told, over and over and over again,

in fourteen million different ways. Men don't like you because they feel like you're stronger than

them. Women are intimidated by you. You're too opinionated, too loud, too direct, too sexy,

too bossy, too bitchy, too emotional, too moody, too funny. Too much like a guy.

This is for all the amazing women

who have been labeled "too much" their entire life by the small men and women who didn't,

or couldn't, see you.

It's time to burn that metaphor like a 70's polyester bra.

You're not too much. You probably haven't shown the world nearly enough.

We need you to be your strong, imperfect, direct, funny, brash, hilarious, sometimes

intimidating self.

We need you to surround yourself with people who don't need to diminish you in order to feel

more secure. We need your ideas, your vision, your leadership, your presence... all of it,

120 proof.

If we need a chaser after being around you, that's up to us to figure that out.

It might be time to stop taking care of people who can't handle you. It might be time to stop

applying for jobs and start your own company. It might be time to write the next book

without the editor's voice in the back of your mind telling you to soften your message.

Be a stay at home mom. Be the President of Harvard, or the United States, or your book club.

Stop saying sorry all the time. You'll need a tribe of people cheering you on as you do this

because haters gonna hate. This tribe will cheer your every victory without the petty

jealousy that has stifled your ambition. This tribe will get in your face when you actually

are too much (and you'll love them for it).

For many of you, the nonstop stories of sexual harassment, . . . have brought up memories
that you've struggled to overcome for much of your life.

You'll need a tribe of people that you can rage with and heal with so that your true self

can emerge and stand up straight. Don't know anyone like that?

Let these words be the start of a conversation with a new tribe. 

https://www.stevewiens.com/shownotes/2017/11/11/an-ode-to-the-women-who-are-too-much