Keeping Vigil -

 My mom has been in a care center for a year. Her dementia, and corresponding physical ailments, left her too difficult to care for at home. We found the most beautiful Beehive Home, and this is where she's lived until Friday evening. 

She's been declining significantly since November - from walker to wheelchair to a reclining padded wheelchair, to nearly full-time in a hospital bed. And in that time she's declined in her ability to walk, move her own body, feed herself, and for the most part, communicate with anything more than a nod or shake of her head. She's also been sleeping about 20 hours a day. 

After visiting her on Thursday afternoon, and trying to get her to eat cottage cheese and mandarin oranges, one of her most favorite meals, and her pocketing the food in her cheek rather than swallow, cleaning this out of her mouth and trying to get her to drink through a straw, I was at a loss. 

And yet - in the hospital we would consider her going on comfort measures, or only giving her liquid when she was offered and agreed. 

So, within just a half an hour, all seven children had agreed that comfort measures was what was needed, with swabbing her mouth with her liquid of choice - milk, grape juice, water, when she accepted the offer. 

I went home, thought about Mom dying in the care center, and I was having a tough time wrapping my head around this. At 5am Friday morning I heard, distinctly, Bring Her Home. One thing I've learned in my long life, is to listen when I receive any kind of prompting. 

I sent all of my siblings a text; we had agreed by 7am; my sister and I called the amazingly compassionate and kind Beehive Home director, called hospice, and we had things rolling for her to get home on Friday, by 9am! 

Mom was tucked into bed in my library (oh she loved books) by 7pm Friday evening. My sisters began arriving on Saturday morning, with my brother shortly after. Saturday and Sunday my home was filled with children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, with those siblings and others who could not be here in person Facetiming or calling to give her their love and say good-bye. 

My home has been over-flowing with loving energy - positive energy, and we have all felt angels around her. As we've sat and talked, ate, caught up, thought about tomorrows, I've definitely relished this liminal time with everyone. We've been through so much with Mom these past 6 years, and prior to that, with Dad the previous 3 years. And we've been united, and our conversations have mostly been about caring for them. However these last few days have also been about catching up on each other's lives, sharing our own stories. 

And it has been a delight - while Keeping Vigil, we've also been moving forward. 

Ironically, Mom is still here; she's not communicating, not taking in any food or liquid. My house is filled with women today, and we laughed this morning that Mom has never taken any physical risks and and has always kept her body healthy. Her heart and lungs are holding on, yet her soul is ready to move on. 

Dad died 6 years ago this July 5. Keeping Vigil.