Sunday Anxiety -

Confession - I don't like going to church. Never have, probably never will. I go for the sacred, not the secular. My life does not revolve around my religious community. 

And today is no different. Adding to today's anxiety was the talk given by a young man (early 20s) beginning with a summary of The Alliance, reportedly a book he listened to while driving to California. Purportedly a book about the apocalypse, as it takes place in Star Valley, Wyoming. 

I walked out. Many of my bad nights are filled with dreams regarding concrete, long-bed trucks, and marauders - raping, pillaging, burning, and kidnapping. Have you ever read Cormac McCarthy's The Road?

So I came home, I'll read, bake, cook, try to figure my angst out, and then move on - dreading, already, next week's worship service. 

HOWEVER - one of my sweetest memories revolves around similar anxiety - I was 17 years old, living in Idaho with my grandparents, finishing up high school. My Sabbath day sucked, for some reason (probably similar to today's), and I came home from Sunday School sad. My grandfather suggested we take a drive, so Grandpa, Grandma, and I filled their Oldsmobile, and drove to Idaho Falls. Although my grandparents were strict Sabbath Day protocol upholders, my grandfather pulled the car into Taco Time, on the Idaho Falls highway, and we had dinner. 

I will never forget this tiny tender show of love, understanding, and that sometimes keeping the Sabbath Day holy involves caring for others in the way they need to be cared for. 

Today I was reminded of their generosity, which took so many forms, and I was reminded that even when I think I am alone, I am not. 

Now back to that Diet Pepsi and book. Peace be with you this day -