Monday, October 24, 2016

EdWynn Weaver - Life is Too Short for "Estranged" -

Scott's youngest brother, we called him "Wynn," others called him "Ed," was killed on Saturday afternoon in a 4-wheeler accident near Cedar City. He was 65.

Sadly, Scott and he did not get along. When I asked Scott for memories of Wynn, he had none. He remembers clearly that they were polar opposite - Wynn was a great student, with 2 masters degrees; he was a good public speaker; he was an LCSW, as of late working as a social worker for the Paiute Indian Nation, where he was loved; he was a family man, married for more than 40 years.

Scott said Wynn bucked the system - leaving Utah for Hawaii to avoid the draft in the early 70s. Probably did some 1970s-style experimenting as well.

But - Scott has said that "drinking messed up any relationship I could have had with Wynn. I couldn't write, I was a poor student, and I let booze control me from a young age. And when my kids were growing up, I wasn't the exemplary father Wynn was; he even helped raise my kids when I couldn't. And those resentments and bad feelings continued as we grew up, and we really never had or made the opportunity to get to know each other as adults, as grandfathers. We were busy with our own families, and I was busy mending relationships with my children."

A few weeks ago Wynn ran into my sister at a Mental Health conference in Provo. After they made the connection, Wynn told Maria, "Yeah, I don't see or talk to Scott much. We're estranged." And when Scott heard this, it broke his heart. But - that was it. Hurt - just as history had proven. Neither had any interest in working things through, in getting to know each other, no desire to mend fences, or at least, "not now."

And now - never a "not now" to work through differences and find similarities - they both loved US history; they both are amazing grandfathers; they both doted on their daughters; they both were stubborn strong men of integrity; honest to a fault, quirky senses of humor, and they both loved SUU and BYU. Too bad they didn't see past the past. I think they would have enjoyed spending time together.

And I'm not dissing Scott or Wynn here. What I am doing is pleading with my family and friends - it's always too late to say "I'm sorry." ALWAYS too late. Say those words now, mend those fences, tear down the walls of pride, shovel the shit into a barrel and toss it away, let bygones be bygones, and get working on relationships. Because - all we have are memories. Don't let them be "estranged" ones.

EdWynn, Kurt (passed away 4 years ago), Scott, Kimball, Max
Probably mid-70s. 

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