Ch Ch Ch Changes - I Walk By Faith -

 Very few things stay the same. And I've written about this since the day I found my tumor and began this blog.

So what's next? As I dive into my 61st year, I'm pretty darn content with where things are, and I do love consistency, and I do love change, and I love stability and reliability and dependability, and I love new and different. Redundancy, in my book, is definitely evil.

Over my years I've learned the one thing that stays the same is change, but I've also learned the my passion for change has been based on my level of security.

I've been a chaser of change, often creating unnecessary change myself, just so I could keep "going." One of the things I'm learning, is that going is not a necessary ingredient in change. I've lived on outside influences affecting the inner me, and these days I'm relying on the inner me being to create change.

Having stability in a marriage, a career, with my self, has allowed me to continue to change, but not in the typical visible arena.

My changes have come with a deeper understanding of Grace. A better knowledge and practice of Mindfulness. An examination of my relationships and a commitment to them. A better understanding of love, because of being loved, and then reaching out more, because I have that within. I thought in "losing myself I would find myself," yet I've found it's been "In finding myself, I'm able to lose myself."

I'm not running because I have found what I want - peace, serenity, internally.

I had planned on a second tattoo for my birthday, 60th, monumental, and wanting my tattoo to reflect my internal compass. That tattoo - "I Walk By Faith," on the outside of my foot. A way of reflecting how I have lived my life, and how I want to continue to live it. And notice, I began this paragraph with "I had planned," and this is to say, something hit me late last week, and I'm still not sure what it was, except to say I don't need this visible reminder of my internal compass. I do walk by faith, and I don't think that will ever change. It is by the Grace and Goodness of my Higher Power that I am here to walk, and it is through my faith in that Higher Power and in my life's purpose, that I will continue to walk - sometimes blindly, sometimes boldly, in Faith.

So - ch ch ch changes - the change is this - I love where I am. I am at peace with my journey. I am a product of my life experiences, and the "I am" is the most important phrase to me right now.

I've gone from finding myself to being myself; from proving myself to knowing myself.

There are changes ahead, and I'm not scared, worried, fearful, anxious. I walk by faith -

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