So I "came out of the closet" with my thoughts regarding organized religion, particularly Mormonism, and my place in this community. And yet I have left something out. And it is this -
I believe, and I don't belong. And nearly every Sunday I go to our worship service hoping I'll find my place, and every Sunday I come home with no place in the congregation. Not empty, but nearly.
Today, I listened to the talks, one was sweet at the beginning, a story-telling time, and then the preaching came, or as I tell my students - you don't need a "and thus we see," at the end of your paper, readers are smart enough to see the message without it being drummed into them, and the talk went south, for me. And then with the 5 minutes left, the "main" speaker gently shared his abridged thoughts, and sat down. Good talk, gentle man, considerate of the time. And I wondered why I had wasted my time attending the meeting.
And then we sang the closing hymn, a song that continually brings me to tears, and today was no exception. And though I left feeling empty, I also left with the glimmer of confirmation that I am doing the right thing - serving my God, my Higher Power, with all my truth.
Lord, I Would Follow Thee
1. Savior, may I learn to love thee,