My next two tattoos will be on the instep of each foot. One will say, "Be the change," and the other will say, "Faith in every footstep."
One foot in front of the other is what keeps me moving forward, and I have to have faith that my plans, or my Higher Power's plans, are the steps I should be taking.
So today, after years of complaining, I spoke up. I was in a church meeting I seldom attend, because I don't feel comfortable in my congregation, and when the question, "What should we be focusing on or doing differently this year, I spoke. "We are disjointed. We are not a congregation. We are divided by age, economics, longevity. We have so much turnover that we don't get to know each other. We don't know who's old, who's new. We need to belong. I need friends. You need me to be your friend. We need connection." And then I nervously shut up, because I had my say.
And the conversation, for the next twenty minutes, was surrounding this. And I wasn't alone.
After our meeting several women, my age and not, thanked me for speaking up.
But I can't leave it at that. If I'm going to complain, I have to be a part of the change. If I want to have a say, I have to be willing to change.
So a young mother, someone I admire, shared today at church. Simple, pure, from the heart. And after making some poppy seed bread, and making sure it was edible, I took her a loaf and a simple thank you.
It took courage today, and a little frustration, for me to share. I don't like putting myself "out there." But I don't like sitting still. I measure my words and my actions very carefully these days. I only have so much energy, and I try to use it wisely. And I guess today, I took a step in faith, that if I was feeling these emotions and this anxiousness, that I would put my faith in my Higher Power and speak.
Here's hoping my words, and my footsteps, will be the change I need - the change I need to make. One step at a time.