Thursday, December 6, 2012

Angels Part III

Let me share with you my most recent angelic experiences - angelic as in precious - some things I hold close to my heart, I share here only because I want you to know I know there are angels among us. I want you to know I know my Heavenly Father sends angels on errands, every day, to help me - to comfort me, to bring me joy. 

18 months ago I herniated 2 discs in my back which required me to be basically down for 4 months. After these herniations had calcified around my sciatica nerves, I needed surgery, which happened mid-December, and I healed quite well. I thanked my Father for the opportunity for growth, for the ability to manage, on my own, with the help of only a couple of Relief Society meals, and I moved on with my with my agenda, because I knew exactly what my errand was.  
I went from living moment to moment to planning out my next 6 months, my road to complete recovery and running a 5k in November. I left no empty spots, no time for thought, for meditation, for inspiration - no room for angels, because my back was better, and I had received what I thought I needed. 

And then, breast cancer. Out of the clear blue sky - straight off the "My 35 year class reunion was a success," fever, "Timpanogos Storytelling is underway" frenzy. I found the lump on Thursday evening, and by the following Wednesday I had a diagnosis of cancer, and surgery the following Wednesday. 12 days from finding to removing.  I knew I could not go on this journey alone, and so I invited some angels to join me. Doctrine and Covenants 84:88 says, "I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." I figured I'd only need angels on occasion, so I really didn't plan on asking much of them. I figured the prayers and positive thoughts of angels would be enough to bear me up. And then I learned my life was out of my control, the 5k wasn't going to happen, in fact, I learned that I had to live moment by moment, not only trusting others, but actually needing others to care for me. No plans - just prayers. 

My angels have taken turns caring for me, coming in and out of my life at the most "random," I mean perfect moments. Let me share: 
My family - I cannot say enough good about them - husband, parents and children, sisters, and an aunt and an uncle who have seen me at my sickest and still stand by my side, ready to bathe, dry, tuck, cuddle, listen, cook, gift, at a moment's notice.  They are my inner-circle of angels. 

And there are others: 
Chris and Kandice - when I posted on Facebook that I was craving theater-style Kettle Korn, quickly sent me a text saying they was driving past a theater, and would stop and pick some up for me. They have also shared DVDs - enough to last through Christmas.

Jon and Natalie , students, now friends - who bring me an occasional real Pepsi, put it on the front porch and drive away. They too have shared DVDs - enough to last through Christmas. But one time - they stopped. He asked what they could do. I was in pain, and crying said their prayers were what I needed. He bravely asked if he could give me a blessing, I hesitated, not wanting to inconvenience them, but then I thought, "He asked," so I said yes, and his prayer was so perfect - it was beautiful. 

*, whose father is dying of cancer and lives with her and her family. She sends me texts and facebook messages almost daily. One day, when my headaches were so terrible, and I needed a stroll outside to get some of the pain meds out of my system, I called her. She  came, we walked, we talked, we cried, we cussed. 
Another friend - a friend for 20 years. We have grown together, reared our children together. Every chemo treatment she brings me 8 roses to signify my 8 treatments. Last week she brought me 4 red roses for the treatments I still need to have and 4 white roses for the treatments I've had.  She walks at the mall with me 2 mornings a week - for me. We talk, talk, talk, then say good-bye until the next walk. I can ramble, she can listen. There is reciprocity, but she is my angel. 

*  put a card in more door late one night, saying, "If you ever need  a ride to the hospital, if you ever need anyone to run errands, don't hesitate to call." I may call them this next week. 
Medical care-givers who go past providing medicine and provide care - compassionate care with healing hands - I rely on them; I trust them. 

Martie, from Delaware. I met her at her grandson's funeral (I work with her daughter). She sends me a card each week, reminding me that I am on the  prayer rolls at her church, and she and her prayer warriors pray for me daily. Her daughter sends me weekly cards as well.

Vivienne, who has recited her rosary multiple times, for me, sent me Lourdes water, that has been blessed, and e-mails  me scriptures to buoy me up.

* , the nurse practitioner who I initially saw when I found my lump. the day after my first surgery, she called to see how I was doing, and to share a scripture from Joshua 1:9, "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever."
My doctor, who told me I had cancer, let me cry on her shoulder, let me yell, ask questions, and now calls me every 2-3 weeks to see how I am doing - this is my busy doctor who calls. 

* , who brought by fresh homemade granola and a container of berries, saying she knew I liked to eat healthy. *  who brings me soup, whole wheat bread, green drinks, walks with me, searches for alternatives, calls me. And others who physically feed Scott and me on a weekly basis.

Pete, who listened to me cry, heard the sorrow in my voice, and when he asked if he needed to travel from Boise, ID to here to see me, and when I bravely (because I hate to put anyone out) said yes, arrived 3 days later, and is still here, silently helping me, my husband and being a peaceful presence. 

8 year old Samantha, who left for school one day without breakfast, and when asked why she didn't want breakfast told her mother she was fasting for me.  

Tempest - who isn't afraid to ask to see my owie's, who wants flowers on her head just like me. 

Tyli and Keegan and Ava who now pray for grandma, "who has cancer" automatically when they say prayers. 

* , a woman who has no time of her own, who brings me bags of healthy cookies, puts them in the freezer, so I can have one whenever I want. 

* and *, and * , who stop by, to see if I want to visit - knowing that if I want to, we will, and if I don't, we won't, and they don't take offense when I say no. 

Nick, a photographer, who believes it's important to chronicle my cancer, and comes over on occasion just to take pictures of Scott and me. He heard my FB cry last Friday night and went to the Mall to buy makeup for me - Black Friday sale deal. His message to me that evening was this, "The one who needs healing also acts as my healer. You are so beautiful and wise. And I am glad I can have excuses to come over and spend time with you. I love you!"

Cortney, a member of the Navy's Ceremonial Guard, who on his 5 day leave from DC, came here, said he had all the time in the world, and we sat on the couch together, with his arms around me, and I cried, and we laughed. 

*, a colleague, who reads my blog, and sends me a card to tell me how touched she is by my writing, and my frankness, and tells me she's sending positive energy my way.  Other UVU colleagues who reach out via flowers, e-mails, cards.

Cody who makes sure I do 30 minutes of exercise every day, who tells me I am strong, I am brave, "we" can beat cancer, then hugs me when I get scared. 
*, *, *, and * - all cancer survivors - whose tips, hints, hugs, tears are so comforting. * and * who are in the midst of chemo, yet reach out to check in, and we walk together. 

Malissa who paints my head - who blesses my head, and creates. She fills my cup from the top down. 

Linda, Carolyn, Lora, Terri, Tami, Jenn, and many others - all have made me jewelry that reminds me of who I am, what I am battling, and that they are always with me. 

And then there's the bag of cards, e-mails, the bowl of tokens, the baskets of goodies, reading material, flowers, the acts of service (this is only a slice of the generosity I've received) that just keep coming - all to say, "I love you." Which to me says, "I am on an errand of angels to bring you comfort and joy." And they do.

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