Let
me share with you my most recent angelic experiences - angelic as in precious -
some things I hold close to my heart, I share here only because I want you to
know I know there are angels among us. I want you to know I know my Heavenly
Father sends angels on errands, every day, to help me - to comfort me, to bring
me joy.
18 months ago I herniated 2 discs in my back
which required me to be basically down for 4 months. After these herniations
had calcified around my sciatica nerves, I needed surgery, which happened
mid-December, and I healed quite well. I thanked my Father for the opportunity
for growth, for the ability to manage, on my own, with the help of only a
couple of Relief Society meals, and I moved on with my with my agenda, because
I knew exactly what my errand was.
I
went from living moment to moment to planning out my next 6 months, my road to
complete recovery and running a 5k in November. I left no empty spots, no time
for thought, for meditation, for inspiration - no room for angels, because my
back was better, and I had received what I thought I needed.
And
then, breast cancer. Out of the clear blue sky - straight off the "My 35
year class reunion was a success," fever, "Timpanogos Storytelling is
underway" frenzy. I found the lump on Thursday evening, and by the
following Wednesday I had a diagnosis of cancer, and surgery the following
Wednesday. 12 days from finding to removing.
I knew I could not go on this journey alone, and so I invited some
angels to join me. Doctrine and Covenants 84:88 says, "I will be on your
right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine
angels round about you, to bear you up." I figured I'd only need angels on
occasion, so I really didn't plan on asking much of them. I figured the prayers
and positive thoughts of angels would be enough to bear me up. And then I
learned my life was out of my control, the 5k wasn't going to happen, in fact,
I learned that I had to live moment by moment, not only trusting others, but
actually needing others to care for me. No plans - just prayers.
My
angels have taken turns caring for me, coming in and out of my life at the most
"random," I mean perfect moments. Let me share:
My
family - I cannot say enough good about them - husband, parents and children,
sisters, and an aunt and an uncle who have seen me at my sickest and still
stand by my side, ready to bathe, dry, tuck, cuddle, listen, cook, gift, at a moment's
notice. They are my inner-circle of
angels.
And
there are others:
Chris and Kandice - when I posted on Facebook that I was
craving theater-style Kettle Korn, quickly sent me a text saying they was driving
past a theater, and would stop and pick some up for me. They have also shared DVDs - enough to last through Christmas.
Jon and Natalie , students, now friends - who bring me an occasional real Pepsi, put it on the
front porch and drive away. They too have shared DVDs - enough to last through Christmas. But one time - they stopped. He asked what they
could do. I was in pain, and crying said their prayers were what I needed. He bravely asked if he could give me a blessing, I hesitated, not wanting to
inconvenience them, but then I thought, "He asked," so I said yes,
and his prayer was so perfect - it was beautiful.
*,
whose father is dying of cancer and lives with her and her family. She sends me
texts and facebook messages almost daily. One day, when my headaches were so
terrible, and I needed a stroll outside to get some of the pain meds out of my system,
I called her. She came, we walked, we
talked, we cried, we cussed.
Another
friend - a friend for 20 years. We have grown together, reared our children
together. Every chemo treatment she brings me 8 roses to signify my 8
treatments. Last week she brought me 4 red roses for the treatments I still
need to have and 4 white roses for the treatments I've had. She walks at the mall with me 2 mornings a
week - for me. We talk, talk, talk, then say good-bye until the next walk. I
can ramble, she can listen. There is reciprocity, but she is my angel.
*
put a card in more door late one night,
saying, "If you ever need a ride to
the hospital, if you ever need anyone to run errands, don't hesitate to
call." I may call them this next week.
Medical
care-givers who go past providing medicine and provide care - compassionate
care with healing hands - I rely on them; I trust them.
Martie,
from Delaware. I met her at her grandson's funeral (I work with her daughter).
She sends me a card each week, reminding me that I am on the prayer rolls at her church, and she and her
prayer warriors pray for me daily. Her daughter sends me weekly cards as well.
Vivienne, who has recited her rosary multiple times, for me, sent me Lourdes water, that has
been blessed, and e-mails me scriptures
to buoy me up.
*
, the nurse practitioner who I initially saw when I found my lump. the day
after my first surgery, she called to see how I was doing, and to share a
scripture from Joshua 1:9, "Have not I commanded thee? Be
strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the
Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever."
My
doctor, who told me I had cancer, let me cry on her shoulder, let me yell, ask
questions, and now calls me every 2-3 weeks to see how I am doing - this is my
busy doctor who calls.
*
, who brought by fresh homemade granola and a container of berries, saying she
knew I liked to eat healthy. * who
brings me soup, whole wheat bread, green drinks, walks with me, searches for
alternatives, calls me. And others who physically feed Scott and me on a weekly basis.
Pete,
who listened to me cry, heard the sorrow in my voice, and when he asked if he
needed to travel from Boise, ID to here to see me, and when I bravely (because
I hate to put anyone out) said yes, arrived 3 days later, and is still here,
silently helping me, my husband and being a peaceful presence.
8
year old Samantha, who left for school one day without breakfast, and when
asked why she didn't want breakfast told her mother she was fasting for me.
Tempest - who isn't afraid to ask to see my owie's, who wants flowers on her head just like me.
Tempest - who isn't afraid to ask to see my owie's, who wants flowers on her head just like me.
Tyli
and Keegan and Ava who now pray for grandma, "who has cancer"
automatically when they say prayers.
*
, a woman who has no time of her own, who brings me bags of healthy cookies,
puts them in the freezer, so I can have one whenever I want.
*
and *, and * , who stop by, to see if I want to visit - knowing that if I want
to, we will, and if I don't, we won't, and they don't take offense when I say
no.
Nick,
a photographer, who believes it's important to chronicle my cancer, and comes
over on occasion just to take pictures of Scott and me. He heard my FB cry last
Friday night and went to the Mall to buy makeup for me - Black Friday sale
deal. His message to me that evening was this, "The
one who needs healing also acts as my healer. You are so beautiful and wise.
And I am glad I can have excuses to come over and spend time with you. I love
you!"
Cortney,
a member of the Navy's Ceremonial Guard, who on his 5 day leave from DC, came
here, said he had all the time in the world, and we sat on the couch together,
with his arms around me, and I cried, and we laughed.
*,
a colleague, who reads my blog, and sends me a card to tell me how touched she
is by my writing, and my frankness, and tells me she's sending positive energy
my way. Other UVU colleagues who reach out via flowers, e-mails, cards.
Cody
who makes sure I do 30 minutes of exercise every day, who tells me I am strong,
I am brave, "we" can beat cancer, then hugs me when I get scared.
*,
*, *, and * - all cancer survivors - whose tips, hints, hugs, tears are so
comforting. * and * who are in the midst of chemo, yet reach out to check in,
and we walk together.
Malissa
who paints my head - who blesses my head, and creates. She fills my cup from
the top down.
Linda,
Carolyn, Lora, Terri, Tami, Jenn, and many others - all have made me jewelry that reminds me of who I
am, what I am battling, and that they are always with me.
And
then there's the bag of cards, e-mails, the bowl of tokens, the baskets of goodies, reading material, flowers, the
acts of service (this is only a slice of the generosity I've received) that
just keep coming - all to say, "I love you." Which to me says,
"I am on an errand of angels to bring you comfort and joy." And they
do.
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