Thursday, April 18, 2013

End of The Trail?

I am proud of my Walker and Jensen pioneer heritage. I have learned to not quit, to keep going, to never say never, and to never ever give up. I have learned that life is meant to be joyous, but that joy cannot come without pain, without the opposition.

I am one tough woman, I am an "I do it myself" woman. I know how to cook, sew, clean, garden, build bunk beds, use a screwdriver, hammer, Allen wrench, and miter saw. I can lay tile, write an essay, give or receive a hug, cry, laugh, dance, sing, and sometimes curse (farmer cursing, learned from my grandfathers).

I'm almost finished with my journey. Today is radiation graduation. I never thought this day would come. Last fall, when I had sweet Kristee plant tulips in the front, south-facing flower beds, I had no idea whether or not I would see them blossom. They're in full-bloom today, and I recognize the miracle it is that I can enjoy their beauty.

I have finished the most difficult part of my journey - that of trekking through the unknown, putting my faith in those who have gone before me, those who I accept as leaders/knowledge-holders, and my God. I am here, I am alive. The journey has been horrible and beautiful. I pray that I will never have to pass this way again, and I pray that I am learning what I need to learn.

However - just like my ancestors upon arriving in Utah, the first leg of the journey is over, but there is still so much more uncharted territory to explore, so much more to learn, so much work to do. Strength to regain, stamina to build, pounds to lose, brain cells to regenerate, and rest to be had. At one point, in my innocence, I thought the last day of radiation would be the last day of my cancer journey. I am wrong. The journey continues - a different type, hopefully not as many twists and turns, not as many storms leaving muddy roads, not as many flat tires and broken headlights.

This trail ends - let the building begin! 

No comments:

Post a Comment