My body - simple things like loss of balance, hearing, and vision, joint pain, hair growth (still no hair in my armpits), and the damn stress fractures and freakin' weight gain. I wondered, out-loud, when my body would ever return to "normal." He reminded me that I can't go back, just moving forward to a new normal - yet to be defined. However, my left arm is healing, and I am getting better range of motion, although I still can't blow my nose with two hands, scratch my back, or throw a ball.
My mind - called our George Foreman grill a Norman Rockwell grill to a friend yesterday, messed up math, forgot a couple of important things, I have to really stop and think through what I'm saying before making a request, and recalling words is really difficult when I'm tired or stressed - which is often these days.
My spirit - I must say I'm stronger here. I'm learning and growing. I'm kinda liking being still. Which worries me to some degree. I have a few things on my plate for fall, and I'm hoping to be strong enough to present my best self.
PT (Dave) and I talked about things we take for granted - memory, balance, fine-motor skills, communication abilities, word recall, stamina. And I whined, and he joked, and we laughed, and life goes on, and I will get better - whatever this word now means. I will.
And then I read this story, and recognize how truly blessed I am, how strong my body is, how thankful I am to be able to communicate, with only a pause to gather my thoughts, and how gracious the gift of a strong spirit. And mostly, how fortunate I am to be surrounded by people who care, who are patient, and who are supporting me as I grow.
I attended a breast cancer retreat a few weeks ago.
These are the hands of cancer thrivers
(we decided we don't like being called a survivor), supporting each other.
I am very grateful for the support I am finding from this network of
strong amazing women.