Stuck

Yesterday, in church, this thought was in the program:

"When our wagon gets stuck in the mud, God is much more likely to assist the man who gets out to push than the man who merely raises his voice in prayers - no matter how eloquent the oration. Pres. Thomas S. Monson put it this way: 'It is not enough to want to make the effort to say we'll make the effort. . . .  It's in the doing, not just the thinking, that we accomplish our goals. If we constantly put our goals off, we will never see them fulfilled.'"

I have been pushing and pushing and pushing these past 2 years. In my faith we're taught that faith, without works, is dead. We need to give our all, then God will in turn give us the strength to push forward. We're taught that life is about progress, not perfection. We're taught to work hard, put our faith in the Lord, and all will work out for our good. We're taught to "put our shoulder to the wheel [and] push along." I learned, "I am a child of God . . . teach me all that I must 'do' to live with him some day." Interestingly, the wording was changed from, "all that I must 'be'" to 'do,' about 40 years ago.

I am tired of this. I am tired of hanging on, "just a little longer." I am tired. And it's freakin' Monday! I cannot see any further ahead.

You know when you were little, and you had walked and walked and walked and couldn't walk anymore, and you looked up at your father and said, "Hold me Daddy"? That's where I'm at -