Friday, November 1, 2013

November 1 - TGOO

I am soooooo glad October is over! This month has been much more traumatic than I had ever expected. Grief abounding with anniversaries. However, I am continually learning, and more opportunities for internal growth have come my way because of this month's learning curve.

When Scott and I began dating, on about week #3, I met him for lunch at the Brick Oven restaurant. I had a script assembled, ready to share with him - purposefully to tell him that if he knew what was best for him, he'd stay out of my life. I read something like this, "I live life intensely. Life is not simple for me; I examine and evaluate everything that comes my way. I am complicated, and you do not want to get involved with me."

I am continually evolving. I am a work-in-progress. And I'm becoming comfortable with this, and even a little accepting of this. I'm working on dumping the complexity, stress, and anxiety that, historically, have been associated with this part of my personality. This is even evident in my Halloween get-up for last Saturday's party. I have put on a costume 3 times in my adult life, and this was one of them. And rather than stress, worry, wonder what people would think, I embraced this new adventure. I even had a lady at the Mac makeup counter do my makeup! I had my hair sleeked back by my cousin who is a hairdresser. I wore purple tights, a boa, over-the-top makeup, and gigantic earrings. I even put on my dressy chemo-hat, and only thought once about the fact that I'd never worn a hat other than for chemo, until now. I had fun with dressing up. I had fun laughing at myself, acting my part, and letting go.

I am learning life can be simple. Life doesn't always have to be analyzed and evaluated, just accepted for what it is. And this is just what I want.

On another note - Happy Birthday Tyler - 
you are an amazing man, and I am blessed to call you mine!

Spring 1981
Summer 2003
January 2010

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