Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Pain - Peace

I have a friend who lives in pain, much of it from not taking care of herself. I think about my adult years, and I realize that much of the pain I was in was self-induced. One of the hardest things I have ever done was walk away from someone I loved, so that neither one of us were inflicting pain on each other, so that both of us could find peace. This wasn't a noble move - but one of survival, without doing this I'm afraid I would have imploded.

Cancer has given me plenty of time to look outside and inside of myself. Peace does come from within, and if there's anything I can control - it's me, nothing, no one else. There is peace in "surrendering to win," and "letting go and letting God." Handing control over really means maintaining control - because I am choosing to give up that control. The pain may still exist, yet choosing to not let the pain be in control is definitely a choice.

My friend, the one in pain, how does she learn to walk away from her own pain - physical and emotional? Can you walk away from yourself - to find peace? Can you walk deep inside of yourself to find it? What can I learn from my pain, from those things that trigger pain?

When I hurt my initial reaction is to react - to find someone/thing to fix me. Reality is this - medication works, but I work too. In my humble opinion, pain is outward, peace is inward.

Just sayin'. 

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