Friday, May 17, 2013

Scared -

I've had a headache all week. I don't usually have headaches. I called my radiation oncologist - they said to call if I had any concerns, any new pain.

Goodness - this trying to figure out the new me is emotionally exhausting. How do I know what pains are warnings, what pains are just pains? My entire body is foreign - so everything is a wonder to me. Nothing about me is familiar. It is the oddest place to be, particularly because I "knew" my body pretty well, and now, nothing fits.

MRI this afternoon. Up all night last night worrying and wondering. What would I do if I had brain cancer? Would I choose treatment, keep me comfortable, am I happy with where I am, how long would I have to live, where else would "it" travel? These concerns are real, yet also imagined.

Good news is there is no tumor, nothing, except for a small deviation in my septum. Whew! But - what is causing the pain? Allergies? Stress? A headache that got out of control because I didn't control the pain? The beauty is my medical team cares - honestly jumped in, made the appointment for the MRI, stayed late in the office to read the MRI and talk with me, 5pm on a Friday night. They didn't want me to worry over the weekend. Blessed.

So, this weekend, get the pain under control. How? Caffeine, Aleve, Ibuprofen, oils, massage haven't worked. Percocet, sleep, and de-stressing is the prescription from the doctor. As much as I hate pain meds, I'm surrendering to this script.

One concern down; I can do this, I can do this, I can do this . . .

On a gentler note, Tempest said to me yesterday, "You're my favorite grandma." Awww -





1 comment:

  1. FYI: When I take Percocet, it gives me a headache about 8 hours later or so. Hope it doesn't do the same to you. But, it does take care of the pain I need it for. Trading pain for pain. It's a narcotic, so it's strong. I break it in half. Hope you feel better.

    ReplyDelete