Happy Birthday to Me

My sister called last week to find out what I wanted to do for my birthday. Our texts were:
What do you want to do for your birthday?
Umm, Jenna's doing something, call her.
I did, I'm in charge.
I don't know.
Do you want to do something at my place, your place, go somewhere?
I don't know.
Who do you want me to invite? I'll call people.
I don't know.
OK, get with me when you decide.
OK.

And then I stressed - it's not about the many family and friends I want to see, it's that I don't have the energy to see anyone, be in a group, and my immune system is not strong enough to get sick.

So I called her: 
I want a party - a post radiation party, in the sun.
You want that to be your birthday party?

Yeah, just a party to celebrate spring and new life and hope.
OK. That's fine.

Simple conversation, but do you know how much strength it took for me to say, "no" to a party? This is me, isn't me.

 

Sheri and Ronda approx. 3 and 5 yrs. old

 

I'm 54 today, made it this far - and the odds are looking pretty good.

 Scott and Ronda with Tyli and Keegan Jan. 2010, my Rockstar BDay Party

Joy is what makes life worth living, but for many joy seems hard to find. They complain that their lives are sorrowful and depressing. What then brings the joy we so much desire? Are some people just lucky, while others have run out of luck? Strange as it may sound, we can choose joy. Two people can be part of the same event, but one may choose to live it quite differently than the other. One may choose to trust that what happened, painful as it may be, holds a promise. The other may choose despair and be destroyed by it.

What makes us human is precisely this freedom of choice.

I'm choosing JOY.